Movie Reviews of 2005 #11 - The hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy

DON'T PANIC!

JUST HAVE FUN! Which is something this film is. It is a movie that has been talked about for over 15 years, and finally got to go ahead to produce, & be released.

Just go & see

The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy

You will be entertained.

Just don't forget your towel.

So long, and thanks for all the fish.

The dolphins

Movie Reviews of 2005 #10 - Kung Fu Hustle {aka Gong fu}

If you like the American action films that have come out recently. - You may be disappointed
If you have never seen a foreign film with subtitles. - You will be lost.
If you take life too seriously to enjoy a film for what it is worth. - Your fu[{ed in the head!

BUT: If you want to see an action packed, fun as hell movie with a buttload of cool gags & CGI EFX.

This is a movie you have GOT to see!

Many people on IMDB have commented on Gong Fu already, and it is one of few movies that have produced a large love/hate series of threads in the comments section. I however think this is the best action movie I have seen in over a year.

It took me a while to get used to the subtitles, but not long. If you are walking into the show without knowing that this is not an "American/Hollywood" produced movie, or that it has been out overseas for almost six months. {it surpassed Shaolin Soccer in Feb. to become the highest-grossing Hong Kong-made movie in Hong Kong}, or if you just plain walked into the wrong theatre, it will not take long for you to get into the movie & start enjoying what is going on in front of you.

The Plot:

Some have said there is no plot. I say BULLSHIT!
It is a simple line of a screwup of a kid is taught to defend the good of things, but ends up disappointed by his teachings supposedly failing him.
He grows up to be a punk & more of a screwup & wants to join the "Axe Gang" who are the worst of the worst, {read good going to "the dark side"}.
This goofball & his buddy go into an area that the gangs do not mess with because there is nothing to steal, so why bother. The only problem is they were posing as upper ranks of the Axe Gang, and got the snot kicked out of them, The Axe found out & showed up & kicked the bejesus out of tweedledee & tweedledum again. They then as a group of 50+ of the toughest people in the province, collectively get their asses handed to them by the "harmless" villagers.

And that is just the 1st act! I will not go on to spoil the rest of the movie for you.

Another thing I loved about this movie was that is was violent, but it was "clean violence". There is very little explosions of blood & unneeded gore. A lot of people die, and many people are seriously injured, yes. But very little is shown of the actual act of death or injury, leaving the viewers to create the images themselves. And sometimes that can be a helva lot worse than anything they could have done onscreen.

As for CGI. . . Imagine the people that did Matrix, Harry Potter, & Star Wars getting together at a kegger one night and someone said, "hey lets grab our laptops, have a LAN party, & see what kind of silliness we can throw together before the 2nd keg runs out! The CGI in this movie is FUN! Some think it was overdone & looks cheap. But if you are watching the movie to critique the FX you miss the whole point of the movie to begin with. My take is that the FX fit with the movie & if you are watching the movie & not its bits & pieces, you will not notice it unless it is meant to be noticed.

RATING: WOW! x3, 1/4 soda drank, & didn't even feel like taossing a wiz. {get it, taoss and not toss}

Blessed Be all, Dr. Strangelove

On a lighter note...

I was cruising around & found Jennicartoon.com. She used to work over @ JoeCartoon & now has her own site.

I think we need this on the jukebox @ Willys

Oh Pretty Beer

Then again . . . Maybe not.

Blessed Be, & remember to pee.

By the power of Greyskull, or ConEd

I saw this & went whoa!!!

ELECTRICAL MISADVENTURE

hopefully {yeah right}, the dumbass is OK.

Blessed Be, & leave the electrical shit to those of us that get paid to be stupid.

Dr. Strangelove

I like how these guys think with magnets. UPDATED!

I caught this thread from one of the newsgroups I follow about tech theatre, & the latest responses are pretty good thinking.

It all started with this question:

Hi all,
I'm going to be starting work on a community theater musical production in a couple months. One of the things the director has been asking for is a set of stairs in which each individual step lights up as an actor walks up & down. I could easily handle wiring in some lights under plexiglass steps and doing a regular chase. How would you suggest designing steps that will light as they're stepped on instead of a regular chase? Having push-buttons that the plexiglass steps rest on is my first thought but I wonder just how safe/reliable such a system wouldbe...

After many serious responses, it finally went downhill to this:

=You might be able to use a proximity sensor of some sort...
=Shoot a burglar beam across the stair just above each tread...
=Cue the lights with the director and choroegrapher and make the dancers hit their marks on time.

By putting large electro magnets in the steps and huge neodymium magnets in the actors shoes, you could make them walk up the steps automatically on cue. By pulsing the magnets you could also make them tap dance in a forceful and exaggerated manner at speeds approaching 60Hz.

== 2 of 5 ==
= huge neodymium magnets
Overkill, surely. Ferrite clogs ought to be ok. :)

== 3 of 5 ==
Hey, great! I'll mention this to the director so that he knows he doesn't have to hire actors who actually know how to dance! ;-)

== 4 of 5 ==
Bear in mind that actors fitted with magnetic boots aren't just limited to stair dancing. With coils laid into the stage you can create high speed linear motion thespians. We can slide an actor from one side of a 50' stage to the other in about half a second.

For audience interaction you can also levitate the actors by passing highly bodacious currents through the existing deaf loop system. It's best to remove all the old ladies hearing aids first though, since they tend to make loud parping noises and fly out their ears with a pop when you energise the loop.

== 5 of 5 ==
I just like to play safe. I've also found that ferrite clogs don't quite have the same crisp response at the higher frequencies that neodymium winkle pickers offer.

4/20/05 - - AND AN UPDATE:
I REALY liked this one:

Not to mention, you can pull the actor to his/her mark and keep them there when speaking. This would be very useful for the actors I know who manage to stand half in and half out of their specials when delivering the most important speech in the play. For the actors who still insist on being in the dark by leaning out of their light even though their feet are properly fixed in place, they could be levitated to grid height, inverted by switching the field to the grid, and then dropped on their head by turning the field off. Could Davie come and do the install for us? Our insurance would probably cover any unanticipated sequelae (explosions, fires, toxic fume emissions, thermonuclear incidents etc.) of his work :-)

WHAT THE F^[{?

I, as well as others know what the translation of the subject line actually means. Or what I was ment to be saying. If you as a reader do not, you are probably one of the 35% that come here that are still using IE as a browser. Out numbered by those 63% using MOZILLA & Netscape offshoots.

Opera & Safari make up the remaining 2%, thus an interesting worldwide group that have realized freedom, and have bursted from the 'gates' of browser hell.

ANYWAY. . . .

I came across a neat little definition of the history of the word F^{K at one of my fav. sites of silly reference, The Straight Dope. This is a offshoot of the column that runs in the Chicago Reader, and a great place to find an answer to some of the questions of life that have been bugging you. And if need be, you can send a question to uncle Cecil yourself.

BUTTFOR {go ahead ask me what is a buttfor, I dare you},

Click HERE:What's the origin of the "F" word?to find out the meaning, or something like the meaning.

And no, it has nothing to do with Monty Python.

Blessed Be, Dr. Stretchglove

Some things to think about in Our Global Village

I found this blog-post & wanted to link to it to help spread its words around.

Read it & think about what you could have done, and what you actually did, in many situations to help your fellow people around you. Both locally, and globally.

Click here to read: Join the Party

If you can't leave a comment there, leave it here & I will get it forwarded to the author. I know she will enjoy hearing feedback & comments.

Blessed Be all,
Dr. Strangelove

Peas, & just us, part deux

I am finally able to post again here after what had happened.

If it happens again . . . . . . . To quote the Cartright Bros.,

HELL NO, I AIN'T EATIN' NO PEAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

Good cause + Bad email + documents {I have waited for over 7 months to get} that will take me ANOTHER FUCKING SEVEN FUCKING MONTHS TO REORDER AT MINIMUM!, lockups that I lost count @ 16 on two totally separate systems. = One pissed off dude

Just because pigs stink, & the pay is bad on the Res.

DUH!

Me & Mama Cass are going to hit every deli from here to the east coast. {sidebar: the best ham in the Chicago area comes from here in SFSD.}, and she will show the tastiness of SD pork, shortly followed by my 'performance du-heimlich'

People
Eat
Tastie
Animals

Basted Be, with a spicy glaze, Dr. S

Peas, & just us, IT'S STILL SPAM!

OK, most people that read my rants & raves are not web-"virgins"

I know this because 68% of the visits to this site use either Mozilla or Firefox.

So . . . . WHY THE FUCK WOULD SOMEONE EVEN FUCKING THINK ABOUT SENDING A FUCKING 3.1 MEG PHOTO ATTACHED TO A FUCKING EMAIL, GOING TO A MOTHERFUCKING WEB-BASED EMAIL ACCOUNT HELD BY SOMEONE THAT IS ON A DIALUP SERVICE?????????

JUST FUCKING TELL ME, OK?

I REALLY WANNA KNOW . . . .

SAID EMAIL/ATTACHMENT {sorry done screaming for now}, came from a grassroots org. that of the few people that have email, 90% are on dialup in rural areas. And the sender is not a dummy, {or so I thought}, about simple, basic netiquette.

This would not be so bad if it was not for the fact, THE FUCKING THING WAS A DOWNLOAD OF AN EXSISTING PHOTO FROM A GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING NEWS SERVICE SO YOU KNOW THE BIG TURD AIN'T GOING ANYWHERE, WHY NOT SEND THE TINY LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT 26 CHARACTER LONG FUCKING "CLICK HERE" SHIT-ASSED LINK????? hUh?????

OK, I am fine now. I'm just under a ton of stress from mounting a theatrical showcase of new artists @ a place that formerly had horses. No space, no power, as of last night reeked of burning cars, {had one blow up across the street before yesterdays rehersal with 20-30mph winds blowing smoke straight at us}.

I forwarded the bloated piece of "email-plasm" to my ISP acct. shortly before my post. So I could clearout & be able to use my Netzero acct. again.
I started @ 8:57.

It is now 9:32 and it is still not done.

Peace & Justice my ass!

Blessed Be, Dr. Strangelove

Movie Reviews of 2005 #09 - Sin City

WOW!



I was extremely surprised by this one.
Because of the storyline I cannot get into the details of the movie, but what I can say . . . .

From the get go, the movie is visually stunning. Typical of Robert Rodriguez & some of his style mixed with the others participating in the directors seat, it gets you stuck to the seat {and later on in more ways than one}. Others have bitched about the effects & foley tracks being overpowering. My response is BULSHIT! The sound design & layering flows with what is on screen & does not detract from the overall show in any way. Those who disagree need to be reminded that this is a production based on what is in essence a comic book. EVERYTHING IS OVERPOWERING !

When you goto see Sin City, make sure to hit the rest room first, {it is over 2 hours long}, and do not plan to chat with others. Take heed of this since you will not want to miss anything, and neither will those sitting around you. Chatting people may end up like one of the bloody mutilated characters on the screen.

OHHH! I HAVEN'T GOTTEN TO THE GORE YET!

Yeah there is blood, and a ton of T & A {extremely NICE T & A too ;-}, and many, many, and even more scenes ranging from a simple gunshot injury to things I would not wish on my worst enemies. In short, if you are squeamish, cannot stand blood, {mostly not red, but blood all the same}, and take offence of the exposed flesh of 'women of the night'. Go see a fucking Disney movie because this show is not for you.

The rating scale: 1/2 soda, no smoke break, no pee break. And add on that all of us thought it was overall one of the best flicks we have seen in a LONG time. And when you have people who work @ a theatre & literally see every movie {whether we want to or not}.

That says a lot.

Blessed Be, and don't forget to reset your clocks this weekend.

Dr. Strangelove

What is wrong with this picture?





Fare thee well . . . - You will be missed Chalma!

I went to work early last night to get in a couple of hours fixing crap people have broken, get some sleep, and go work "The Full Monty" @ 8am this morning.

I came home & noticed a new message on my machine & almost did not play it.

I wished I hadn't, but now I'm glad I did.

I heard my dads voice & immediately I knew it had finally happened. My Grandpa had died around 11 pm last night after battling Alzheimers for a long period of time.

He was one of the people that worked on the projects that brought the first robotic assembly lines to life at Ford motors. He also was the 'guy down the street', that you asked first about what might be wrong with your car, household appliance, or damn near ANYTHING that needed fixing. If he did not know, he would find a way of figuring out how to fix it. Mind you this was before duct tape, hotmelt glue, & bailing wire became a popular staple of the handyman.

My Grandfather was a marvel at figuring out just how things work. And making them work better. He & my father are the ones that I blame for my intuition & curiosity of fixing things. As I was always cracking things open to see how they worked, then attempting to see if I could put it back together without getting into trouble for breaking it in the first place.

Case in point, This morning in the very short time I was at Century, I fixed a bunch of things with nothing more than 2 wrenches, a screw gun & four pieces of 1/8" thick wire. The reason I think I am able to do that is the common & analytical sense that I got from Grandpa as well as my dad, {who got it from my Grandpa as well, but refined it a bit}.



He went peacefully.


My Grandpa, Chalma Barnes




Grandpa & My Dad








I have always looked up to you, & always will...



Good Bye.




Ethics & Humanity 101

Welcome all to todays test:

This test only has one question, but it's a very important one.

Please don't answer it without giving it some serious thought. By giving an honest answer you will discover where you stand morally. The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation, in which you will have to make a decision.

You're in Florida...In Miami, to be exact... There is chaos around you, caused by a hurricane and severe floods. This is a flood of major proportions. You are a photojournalist working for a major newspaper caught in the middle of this great disaster. The situation is nearly hopeless.

You're trying to shoot career-making photos. There are houses and people swirling around you, some disappearing under the water. Nature is showing all its' destructive fury. You see a man in the water. He is fighting for his life, trying not to be taken away with the water and debris. You move closer.

Somehow the man looks familiar. Suddenly, you know who it is... it's George W. Bush! At the same time you notice that the raging waters are about to take him under, forever. You have two options. You can save him or you can take the most dramatic photos of your life. You can save the life of George W. Bush, or you can shoot a Pulitzer Prize-winning photo, documenting the death of one of the world's most powerful men.

Now, here's the question (please give an honest answer).
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>

Would you select colour film, or rather go with the classic simplicity of black and white?

OK, I'll play nice with others.

I NEVER . . .

Several of my friends have done this, & I figured I should get it out of the way before someone else pesters me about it:

The bold ones are the ones I have never done.

I’ve Never Kissed A Member Of The Opposite Sex
I’ve Never Kissed A Member Of The Same Sex
I’ve Never Crashed A Friend’s Car
I’ve Never Been To Japan
I’ve Never Been In A Taxi
I’ve Never Been In Love
I’ve Never Had Sex In a Public Place
I’ve Never Been Dumped
I’ve Never Done Cocaine
I’ve Never Shoplifted
I’ve Never Been Fired - laid off, but not fired
I’ve Never Been In A Fist Fight
I’ve Never Had Group Intercourse
I’ve Never Snuck Out Of My Parent’s House
I’ve Never Been Tied Up
I’ve Never Regretted Having Sex With Someone
I’ve Never Been Arrested
I’ve Never Made Out With A Stranger
I’ve Never Stolen Something From My Job
I’ve Never Celebrated New Years In Time Square
I’ve Never Gone On A Blind Date
I’ve Never Lied To A Friend
I’ve Never Had A Crush On A Teacher or Professor
I’ve Never Celebrated Mardi Gras In New Orleans
I’ve Never Been To Europe
I’ve Never Skipped School
I’ve Never Slept With A Co-Worker
I’ve Never Cut Myself On Purpose
I’ve Never Had Sex At The Office
I’ve Never Been Married
I’ve Never Been Divorced
I’ve Never Had Sex With More Than One Person Within The Same Week
I’ve Never Posed Nude
I’ve Never Gotten Someone Drunk Just To Have Sex With Them
I’ve Never Killed Anyone
I’ve Never Received Scars From My Sex Partner
I’ve Never Thrown Up In A Bar
I've Never Taken a Hallucinogenic Drug
I’ve Never Purposely Set A Part Of Myself On Fire
I’ve Never Eaten Sushi
I’ve Never Been Snowboarding
I’ve Never Had Sex At A Friend’s House While They Were Throwing A Party
I’ve Never Had Sex In A Dressing Room
I’ve Never Flashed Anyone
I’ve Never Met Anyone From Online

Movie Reviews of 2005 #08 - The Ring Two

Umm, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your son has been possessed by something that should have remained dead.

I'm really sorry we do not know how this happened. We will track down those responsible & flog them justly. We just are picking our brains & searching near & far to find out who would release unto the world a beast this bad.

On the bright side, it really is not as scary as some have described it. Matter of fact, it pales in comparison to what happened the last time I went to the dentist. But the release of something this tragically bad is justification of why we in South Dakota maintain the death penalty.

As I said, we should find & prosecute those that released . . . .






THE RING TWO...


Do I need to say more?

RATING: 1.5 sodas, 2 smokes{mind you in blizzard conditions}, but no bathroom break.



Goodnight, Uncle Duke, the spiders rest now...

I have shut off all mind numbing electronics right now aside from this, in hearing of the passing of Hunter Stockton Thompson, AKA. The father of Gonzo Journalism.

When I was growing up my father had a weekly newspaper titled "The Sioux Falls Sun". We were quite a bit overpowered by the long standing local daily {i will not mention it, that would give them more google hits, but you all know the beast I speak of}, and lasted only a few years. But at the time we actually had a bank believe in us enough to name themselves as a startup "Sun Bank". That is another story however to be asked @ Willy's.

The coolest thing about the Sun was we ran a whole week of Doonsbury in one shot, on one page, pretty much giving all of the fans a "one snip/slash" for the scrapbooks.

I grew up as Zonker, with the long blonde hair, obsessed with tanning, and being a free wheel of society, but without the pot, {disclaimer: I could not do that due to repercussions to the public image of others in my family}, Which REALLY put a damper on the whole Zonker image.

I then got older & started to relate more to Uncle Duke. Don't ask when, don't ask how, just don't ask. . . . . Or I might have to torture you.

One of my TKE brothers Scott, got me hooked on Hunter S. Thompson soon after. Since then I have followed his work the best I can. And back then, also discovered that the crap in a can to spray in your car's engine when you flood it can mess with your world almost as bad as working in a screen printing shop.

Not much of a eulogy, I know. But Hunter . . . Ether without you, will never be the same again.

Here are links to better worded tributes:

denverpost.com

::

MSN/Newsweek International

CNN.COM

And the rantings he produced for ESPN.COM

Blessed Be Duke. The 'bake-off' will begin shortly in your honour.


DAMMIT, WHERE THE HELL IS MY .45? SOME ASSHOLE PARKED NEXT TO MY CAR!
Shit, I really need a beer right about now.
Fucking lizards, they are worse than the god damned spiders with the tongues and that shit, at least they wont lay eggs in my skin though.
When the room starts to spin, make sure to hold on to the pen & paper. If you can't do that, make damn sure you don't lose the high, 'cause at that point, that is the only thing keeping you alive.

Movie Reviews of 2005 #06/07 - Man of the House & Cursed

Talk about a night of Boobs & Blood!!! I got a lot of laughs from Man of the House & Cursed was a fairly decent werewolf flick. I have to finish this later, but until then, if you'd like to see a pretty funny cheerleader movie, (sorry no nude scenes Led), or a good scary movie without dumping of 55 gallons of fake blood every 2 minutes . These are worth taking in.

Violent Femmes - Biography

We were discussing the other night how that the Violent Femmes have been rediscovered by yet another generation. Someone, I think it was Led, said that they overheard some kid saying that the Femmes were one of the best bands of the ninties. I winced at that & we all tried to figure out "just when the hell did they start?"

Well here is the answer, Led & I added it up & guessed right...

Violent Femmes - Biography: "Violent Femmes: Decades of Disorganized Music

Violent Femmes were founded in 1980 by bassist/multi-instrumentalist Brian Ritchie and drummer Victor De Lorenzo. The name is a contradiction in terms, 'Violent' being self-explanatory and 'Femmes' being Milwaukee slang for wimp."


Blessed Be all, Dr. Strangelove

PEOPLE OF EARTH, PREPARE TO BE ASS-MULATED

DR. STRANGELOVE HAS BEEN TAKEN CAPTIVE AS SO WE MAY USE HIS SPACE FORUM TO DISTURB, err umm, DISTRIBUTE OUR TRACT & PLAN.

CLICK BELOW AND READ, OR DEATH:

The Little Book of Alien Invasion

ZOMPLATTI, HIGH CENSOR OF BEASTIES
NA-NU NA-NU!

Movie Reviews of 2005 #05 - Boogyman

As a child everyone had as fear of some sorts while sleeping or such. Different fears sometimes form into realistic entities for many kids, and follow them for years. If you are one of those people, don't go see Boogyman.

This movie has very few things I can say without blowing most of the good parts, so in order to avoid getting yelled at again, I will just say this:

If you are a delusional paranoid skitzo with Bi-Polar tendencies. Make sure all of you stay home. Otherwise you will be funding your therapist's grandchildrens college years on into med school.

{sidebar: Speaking of delusional, is Michael Jackson's face falling off? Just a question after just seeing pieces of the interview he did with Rivera}

Boogyman is a good flick, hands down blows the most recent "scary" movies out of the water. And the first out of the last 5 movies I have seen that did not have all the nasty stuff happen after blatently showing an alarm clock displaying somewhere between 2-3am. However, don't expect to see any little award statues showing up on the cast & crews mantles from this effort.

Important things to remember when watching is suspension of disbelief, pay attention to what is happening {read pee before the show otherwise you might get lost}, and sit there & wait for the nightmares to begin on screen.

This is not Hotel Rhwanda, which is also opening here in Sioux Falls today, and thus so should not be taken seriously. But it is entertaining, and if you wait long enough will give you a jump or two in your seat.

Rating: 1/2 soda, no smoke or B-Room breaks

On that note, look under the bed & stay out of the closet before you goto bed tonight.

Dr. S