Friday, September 16, 2005

Movie Reviews of 2005 #20 - Cry Wolf

I was so disappointed with this movie I posted to IMDB before posting my review here. IMDB has the short & clean version since as I wrote, I realized I needed to tone things down for it to get accepted.

As employees of a theatre, we have to screen the movies in a "dry run" to make sure it was physically assembled properly. In the case of Cry Wolf, the middle four reels could have easily been left in the can & no one would have complained. This movie reminded us all of seeing this movie years ago, but we could not put our fingers on which one it was.

Then is occurred to us that it was not one particular movie, it was bits & pieces of many of the "teen trauma cheesy flicks" from years past, all thrown in to a blender to make a bad vegan breakfast smoothie that would kill off noxious weeds if dumped out.

Imagine a formula movie with:
  • some Heathers & Scream with
  • a small dash of Indecent Behaviour & Halloween
  • Puree for 10 seconds.
  • Add a few pinches of American Psycho
  • a handful of crushed lame-ass plot lines
  • & a taste of Urban Legends
  • And continue to mix to a texture of bad.
With the end of the movie you sit & think of all of the plot twists, and background stories, and you wonder what was the point of the last 58 minutes.

This movie is one of many non-impressive, supposed to be something that it is not, should have gone straight to video, movies that have been forced on us in the last year.

All because "Hollywood" has lost its creative originality.

And because of the "reality" trends that have blindsided the industry, like the weather here in S.D., don't expect it to change before it gets more shitty.

It really pisses me off that crap like Alone in the Dark, Hide & Seek, The Ring Two, & The Constant Gardener get green lit for production & release and they end up being SO BAD!

And all of them were promoted as movie genres that they were not. And we cannot just blame the people producing this crap, we the moviegoers need to take blame as well. Nobody has raised a finger about the shit they have been serving us, we just sit back in our couch & swill beer & popcorn with the trusty remote by our side.

STOP THE APATHY & TELL THEM WE WANT MORE THAN TO BE PLACATED!

WE WANT TO BE ENTERTAINED!

Grrrrrrrrrrr!

Blessed Be, Dr. S.

1 comment:

Adam said...

Want to know something more disturbing? Take a look at the director, Uwe Boll, of the film Alone in the Dark on imdb. Look how he's got a movie that is filming, and also another currently in post production. Look at all the movies he has announced he will be making before the end of 2006. And, if you're not disgusted enough, check out the trailer for Blood Rayne, and maybe shed a tear for poor Ben Kingsley.

Reading the imdb forums for this guy and his movies is theraputic though. I've never seen someone so hated, that just by ANNOUNCING projects, people start wailing, cursing, crying, and petitioning.