Blessed Be the flexible
Dr. Strangelove
April 2, 2007 issue - Four 11- and 12-year-old girls stood in front of my open pantry, mouths gaping wide. "Look! Fruit Roll-Ups!" "Oh, my God! Chocolate-chip cookies!" "You have regular potato chips? We only get the soy kind!"
After 14 years and four kids, I thought I'd feel comfortable as a mother. Instead, I'm increasingly aware of a prickly new sensation: that I'm some kind of renegade. Who knew that buying potato chips would become a radical act? Or that letting my daughters walk home from school alone would require administration approval? How did I, a middle-of-the-road mom, become a social deviant?
Fear is the new fuel of the American mom. If it's not fear of her child becoming obese, it's the fear of falling behind, missing out on a sports scholarship or winding up with a thin college-rejection envelope.
Apparently I'm not nervous enough. Last summer while I was loafing in front of the TV with my kids, the most benign things morphed into menaces. For example, the sun: long-sleeved, UV-protective swimsuits were all the rage at my neighborhood pool, while I could barely remember to bring the year-old sunscreen. The water wasn't safe either: at the beach I saw tots dressed in flotation belts and water wings—for shelling along the shore. And goodbye, cotton candy and hot dogs! At a major-league game I saw moms and dads nix the stuff as if they'd never eaten the occasional ballpark treat. As if their children would balloon into juvenile-diabetes statistics if a single swig of sugary soda passed their lips.
Half my kids' friends—who already make A's and B's—had summer tutors in order to "keep it fresh." I thought vacation was for relaxing and recharging. What would our pioneer foremoms think? (You want something to worry about, let me show you frostbite, typhoid and bears!) Heck, what must our own mothers think? (Snap out of it! Go worry about something truly scary, like how you're going to pay for retirement!)
I thought that once the kids were back in school, things would calm down. Instead, a fresh seasonal crop of anxiety sprouted, this time over corruptive candy fund-raisers and insufficient use of hand sanitizer. I know one mom who wants to change her son's schedule because he doesn't know anyone in his classes; she's worried he'll be "socially traumatized" all year. Another is afraid of a learning disability she just read about, though her child seems bright and charming to me.
And then there's playground panic. I had to laugh when an Australian study recently found that playground injuries continue to rise despite safety improvements. One of the suspected reasons: the safe new play structures are so boring that kids are taking more risks in order to have fun.
The fears are as irrational as they are rampant. Recently my children's elementary school failed to meet adequate yearly progress goals for a particular minority's reading progress under the No Child Left Behind Act and was placed on a warning list. This meant parents might gain the right to transfer their children to another school in the district. Never mind that this very same school sent more kids to the district's gifted program than any other, or that this entire district has the highest SAT scores in the state. The day the news broke, six different moms (none in the affected minority) asked me if I was planning to transfer my kids. From neighborhood pride and joy to threat to child's future overnight.
It's not that I think parents shouldn't worry about anything. I'm personally petrified of SUV drivers on cell phones. I fret as much as the next mom about how to pay for college. I pray my kids won't wander onto MySpace and post something dumb.
But you can't go around afraid of everything. It's too exhausting! No matter how careful you are, bad stuff happens (diaper rash, stitches, all your friends assigned to another class). And it's seldom the end of the world.
Watching my daughter's friends ogle my pantry, I realized there's one big, legitimate fear that I haven't heard anybody mention: what's the effect of our collective paranoia on the kids? Yes, these very kids we want to be so self-sufficient, responsible, confident, happy and creative (not to mention not food-obsessed). They're growing up thinking these weirdly weenie views are healthy and normal.
Walking out my front door that day, each girl happily clutched a plastic baggie stuffed with the exotic kid snacks that my daughter had doled out in pity. I may be a rebel mom, but at least I'm not afraid of a chocolate-chip cookie.
Spencer lives in Chapel Hill, N. C.
URL: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17770831/site/newsweek/page/2/
Suzanne Collins
Reporting
(WJZ) ANNAPOLIS, Md. A house committee in Annapolis voted "yes" to a bill Thursday which would require more hybrid cars to be sold in Maryland.
But, as WJZ's Suzanne Collins reports, there is one group of people saying a law like that could endanger their lives.
The National Federation of the Blind said it is very concerned about any law that would require more hybrid and fuel efficient cars be sold because those cars make very little noise.
"For blind people we use the sound of the traffic not only to determine when to cross the street, but to navigate, and hybrid vehicles are silent," said Chris Danielsen from the Federation of the Blind.
Many blind people have said they support conserving fuel and promoting a clean environment, but they want an amendment to the Maryland bill, which would require hybrids to make noise.
Advocates for the blind have made two suggestions to lawmakers. One is to have the radiator fan of the hybrid vehicle go on when the cars go into electric mode, the other is to put something in the car's wheel well to make noise when the car is moving.
Blind city-goers explained they can hear the wind resistance of cars on a high speed highway or the grinding of gravel on a country road, but when crossing city streets they need to hear the car's engine.
John Pare belongs to the National Federation of the Blind and he is very concerned about the bill. "The traffic and the sound of the cars give a very clear signal of what the pattern is, when stopping, when accelerating, when they're turning."
A test was done at the National Federation of the Blind's Headquarters with a Toyota Prius and a Honda Hybrid. Testers said the Honda was quiet but they could not hear the Toyota at all.
"I never heard the car until it actually touched me, I was shocked," said Pare.
The Vice Chairman of the House Environmental Affairs Committee said there is no language in Maryland's clean car bill to address the concerns of the blind. But, a strong suggestion will be made to the Department of Transportation to come up with some solutions.
Supporters have also said the technology necessary to make hybrids a little bit noisier would not add too much to the cost of the car.
(© MMVII, CBS Broadcasting Inc. All Rights Reserved.)
“The Vagina Monologues” will be performed by the women of Augustana College at 5:30 p.m. Thursday.
The performance will take place in the Back Alley in the Morrison Commons. Cost is $1 for students and $2 for adults.
Tickets are available at the door and 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. at the Commons’ mailboxes Thursday.
All proceeds will benefit the Rape and Domestic Abuse Crisis Center of Sioux Falls and the V-Day organization.

When a good [and pretty damn cool] ad campaign goes bad, just call the bomb squad, Department of homeland [in]security, and lock down the city
CANBERRA (Reuters) - Australians love their muffin tops -- but not the kind you buy from a bakery.
The arbiter of Australian English, the Macquarie Dictionary, has declared "muffin top" the word of the year for 2006 -- even though it is two words -- defeating "affluenza", a noun that describes dissatisfaction with consumerism.
The dictionary defines "Muffin top" as a colloquial noun that refers to the fold of fat around the midriff which spills over the top of tight-fitting pants or skirts on the overweight.
"The vivid imagery of this word with its sense of playfulness and the fact that it is an Australianism made it the clear winner," the judges said.
Judges Gavin Brown and Stephen Garton, both professors at Sydney University, and Dictionary publisher Susan Butler said "muffin top" had spread globally due to the popular TV comedy Kath and Kim, which pokes fun at suburban life Down Under.
The victory for "muffin top" came after it was shortlisted for the 2005 American Dialect Society's most creative word, only to lose out to "whale tail" - the bit of a g-string, or thong, that shows above the waistband at the back of pants or skirts.
© Reuters 2007. All Rights Reserved. | Learn more about Reuters

I had a pack of smokes with one left on the headboard, I thought I was having a 'momentary lapse of blondeness' until I saw Rae scamming it.
This explains why my hand is warm, my throat is parched, & my fridge is empty.
THE DAMN BUD WAS IN THE CRISPER DRAWER!!! And I really do not want to know what Guin is doing to Rosco. I have a good guess of what Rae & Rosco are up to though.
So, all three of them are now under house arrest, [read in separate boxes in separate rooms], and will be going to in-patient Keystone therapy for addiction therapy.
And to top it all off. All three of my remotes for the tv, vcr, & dvd are missing.
Having a party & not inviting me, trashing my place, and cleaning out my fridge, [I do not want to know what happened to the bicycle pump], and that is all I have discovered so far, I AM PRETTY TORQUED OFF!
Oh wait, I just found out someone named Petey D'Penquin' took the photos.
After I talk to the Sioux-Falls-3, I will know where this naughty influence named Petey can be located. All I have from any of them so far is that he is looking for pie.
I can't make sense of it.
I guess I have to hide my beer better.
Dr. S




This is an email from my father. He actually is a doctor {PhD}, whereas I just play one on the 'net.
For me, this should not happen, it should not be allowed, nor should it be tolerated.
Dr. S.
Metro man killed in Wisconsin plane crash
UPDATE: I just got off the phone with my dad. My Aunt Joyce is doing ok for the time & situation. He told me that Jim was heading up to see a friend that was a bit under the weather & that the reason that Joyce didn't go with him was that she wanted to stay home to watch the Bears / Vikings game. Being from Hammond, IN. as I & almost all of my paternal side of my family, but living in the twin cities for so long..... I don't know who she was rooting for.