ten reasons why I stopped dating

1. Ten years ago the woman I had been living with left me for "Minn. highschool all star" football player. Then weeks later broke into my apartment with her sister to "get her things". They trashed the place, grabbed all of the table lights {read no light in the living room or hallway}, misc. other things. BUT LEFT THREE BOXES OF CLOTHING AND HER MICROWAVE!
2. I was followed home one night & got asked to breakfast. After that we went back to my place & I found out she was not an ex girlfriend of a local biker gang {i use that term loosely}, she was a former "possession"
3. During high school & into college I was dumped 18 times in a row with the exact same word for word phrase. {I will not publish this here as to not give some evil female any ammo}.
4. I got hit on at the bar by some drunk ex heroin addict/lot lizard, wanting to "shoot some pool". After several 'friends' took up a collection for me to pay for pool. She ditched me when we actually went to shoot pool @ the pocket.
5. What happened to me 12/23/03
6. Meeting a woman that seemed really cool, easy to talk to, mutual interests, & damn fine looking. She broke it off because she worked with my mom & was 3 months older than my mom. {It was a fun time though, and if my mom ever found out, she would probably have a heart attack, and this person would have been fired & brought up on charges}
7. Working with a woman that was quite a flirt & following on to "other things". Only to find out that she is married to a guy that I know & work with at my other job.
8. Fear. Pure absolute, bone wretching, disease laden fear. That & shotgun toting pissed off husbands, boyfriends or lesbians.
   
9. I got hit on at an advanced training class & asked out for coffee. I said I do not drink coffee, and said person tracked down where my other job was & showed up. I thought I was being stalked, then later I didn't. Now I think I was getting setup from the beginning.
10. What happened this past weekend.

Blessed Be All. Keep your fluids pure, and avoid any & all dubious women.

They will do nothing more than ruin your life & your health

Dr. S.

Great Balls o' Fire (aka The Great Pumpkin)

I was in a conversation tonight with the great & all powerfull LED about mom's when I brought up this site I thought I had posted about a while back. He asked about why he did not see it.
& I guess between having to deal with being very ill, really strange shit @ work, a severely screwed up friend, & making plans on how to take care of a family member after major surgery, without losing my mind, or my home. . . .

I spaced it off. So here it is.

Great Balls o' Glowing Implants 4 You

Remember this the next time you go clubbing.

Don't forget your Maglite


Blessed Be,
Dr. Strangelight, errr Strangelove

Do you have what it takes to be a "ROCK STAR"?

If so, take the test. I did & I fit the bill of rock royalty with how I scored. It's fun, it's entertaining, & it's about 12 minutes of life unrecoverable.

I WANT THIS AS A POSTER!

I found this while looking for "pin-up girl" style artwork. I think it pretty much sums up how I & 99.9999999% of the people in amerika feel about 'dubya.

There is no freedom in having to wake up @ 3:47 in the morning hearing a swat team scream "get the fuck on the floor now you son of a bitch!", only to realize that the people next door were mistaken for terroristic drug running crack heads by one of my other, {better than the CIA on knowing what you do daily, so she thought}, neighbors.

So right now, with the extension of the {non}patriot act, the {vice grips on genitalia} attempt by bush to swing the congress to approving someone onto the supreme court with a track record only exceeded by Dr. Mengela for stupid attitudes towards humanity.

And my generally fowl mood as of late.

I present to the world this wonderful piece of art that I know represents the thoughts of all that stand true and have fought for what America is supposed to be: WE ARE HEAR & WE WILL NOT GO QUIETLY INTO THE NIGHT!

And it also tells the little dipshits that try to scare us by intimidation, and grind us into submission by threat & "possible acts of . . . "

GO FUCK YOURSELVES!

You screwed up pissants may not die today, maybe not in the next week, but unless that weapon has unlimited power and you somehow have figured out how to become invincible.

you
will
die!

And it only will be hastened more by your fucking with the USA.

Thus end the rant.

Blessed Be, Dr. S.

Sorry "rant on" again

P.S. I hope that we can get our children, siblings, wives, & fathers back home where they belong as soon as possible. It is tremendously silly to have so many die & get injured for such a stupid reason that amounts to nothing more than oil.

P.P.S. I think Osama Bin Laden has migrated to the southwest corner of North Dakota. So all of you "security experts" should quickly form a task team to decide on who should lead a forum to pick members of an inquiry, to create a feasibility study on the environmental impact of investigating the viability of "going outside the box" based on the military study of what shall soon be made known at a debriefing of the second set {or mind-pod as you will}, that is several months old & thus extremely pre-dating any & all information that you will read & hear in the next few days. In other words:

HOW FUCKING HARD IS IT TO FIND A SIX FOOT PLUS ARAB THAT NEEDS KIDNEY DIALYSIS ON A DAILY BASIS?

DO YOUR FUCKING JOBS AND STOP PLAYING MUMBLY-PEG WITH THE REST OF THE WORLD!!!

{rant off} You really have to admit though, The gal in the drawing has nice legs.

Just when you thought Iowa was a fun place

I found this on another Blog site & just had to share it with others. I think it might explain why so many Iowa-ians drive like they are blinded from glaucoma.
<{Click Below}>
Highest and Lowest Rates of Marijuana Use

Him Name is Hopkin Green Frog- Part II.2

This is odd & funny.
Click the image below & then just keep clicking.
I'll update the image from time to time if you are too lazy.

Blessed Be, Dr. S

Carol King, damn fine I mean DAMN FINE!

I just got done watching CBS Sunday Morning, which for some reason I auto-wake even though I try to tape it.

They just had a spot on Carol King. For being 63 years young. And since she has been writing MAJOR HIT SONGS since she was 19. And now going back out on the road to tour her new show "The Living Room Tour", with a butt load of energy.

I WANNA PARTY WITH THAT GAL!

So what if she is 22 years older than me. I just want to be able to meet someone that I grew up listening to that is still alive & coherent to talk to about the stuff that has happened in life. And what keeps her going.

Do the loco-motion & feel the earth move under your feet,

Dr. S

Peter Sellers, respect 25 years later

OK. I know that some of my postings have been not so good. Some of them downright suck ass. But I have to do this.

Today marks the 25th anniversary of Peter Sellers death of a heart attack. And I lost the bet to a friend of mine between which was his last movie.

I still think, just out of respect, that " Being There" should be listed. It was very classy, made a point in a simple way, just plain fantastic photography, and is one of my top favorite films of all time.

But as it is. The POS movie " The Fiendish Plot of Dr. Fu Manchu", actually was his last film, which looked like a growing boil on a syphilitic groin.

So, as payment of the bet. I have to track down Goo, & pay off a case of . . . .

Think about it . . .


No, not that! You sicko's!




In the respect of the true Doctor Strangelove, and the others in the movie.


The payoff is a case of purified water. {It used to be $50 & a case of Heineken}


Buh, Bye, Keep your fluids pure, and your feet & hands inside the vehicle at all times during the ride.

Dr. Strangelove {wanna be}

Movie Reviews of 2005 #15 - The Devil's Rejects

WELL . . .

PREFACE: Shot very true to the "70's" film style down to the cheap whip-pans, & bad wipe transitions. And the film stock/processing visually, it looked like something shot mid to late 70's. Unfortunately the stylization carried over to the writing of a seventh grade football player struggling for a grade in English lit. class.

AND ON THAT NOTE . . .

I have to start this off by saying that I have not seen House of 1000 Corpses. And after seeing this movie, I might consider doing so. But if it was as poorly writen & directed as Devil's Rejects, I will wait until I find some copy of it lying in the street next to a dumpster & have someone else waste the time & power to play it on the TV.

YES, it is gory
YES, it is creepy
YES, you will see more titties, {and bush, not george}, in this movie than you have seen in the last year & a half on the 'big screen'
YES, if you are a fan of the "f-word", you will lose count almost immediately once the dialog starts.

NO, it is not a scary movie
NO, anyone under 27 should not be allowed - {seriously this should have been NC-17}
NO, this is not a date movie
NO, {voice of Mr. Horse from Ren & Stimpy}:
.
.
"Nope, Don't like it, Don't like it at all"
However I did actually like parts of it. There were a few scenes that were memorable, {at least for an hour after the movie}. And a ton of unexpected gore, blood, & new / improved ways of killing people.

But the only thing that sticks in my head is the opening scene in the woods. In order to not spoil it for those who get free passes. {trust me, wait until pay per view, & have someone else order it}, All I can say is:

I hope that they cleared that whole area of branches, sticks, & small twigs.

Blessed Be,
The Reverend Dr. S.

Headlines from the world

And they say that the printed press is boring:

Jokebook:Real life humour:Newspapers - Wikibooks

Mobile home madness: Prices top $1 million

I can't believe this. But then again, it is California.


Mobile home madness: Prices top $1 million

Happy Birthday Grandma!

I just wanted to wish my grandma Eileen Barnes a happy birthday. I found this photo that I took of her about {hrumphh ehh} years ago & thought I would tag it onto the blog.

For years she attempted to find a way of sending me chocolate chip cookies so that they would not get damaged in shipping. It didn't matter to me that much. The crumbs made for excellent ice cream topping. To this day I think she still carries an extra pack of Dentyne in her purse.

She is a women of unknown strength & knowledge. How she could manage to put up with our whole extended family through out the years, and still keep her head up is beyond me.

Once again:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRANDMA !

Love,
Jon

Hello Again everyone!! Good bye my favorite dog.

I just want to start off:

I FU<{ING HATE QWEST & AT&T !

That said . . .
I have not been able to update the site since I have not had a landline for the last 2.5-3 weeks. It started from my not wanting to pay the bill, I got it disconnected thinking I would be able to access the 'net from other places by leaching off a Wi-Fi restaurant while I went to & from work.
WELL all good intentions were shot down by my laptop battery going totally flatline, so I could not access from my car. The few times I have been able to pull a line anywhere I had other more pressing matters to deal with such as clearing out the over two-hundred emails in my several inboxes & trying to reply to the less than 15 messages that actually were legit.
So right now I am dealing with finding out my favorite "pet nephew" might be getting put to sleep tomorrow {Friday}. He is a big old Chocolate Lab named Bear.
When I first met him I was told that he would attack me if he saw me wearing a hat. Some of you know me & know that is a rare occasion to see from me. When I walked into the house the dog came after me & I just got on the floor & let him sniff me. His 2 then guardians about fainted when they saw the dog & I getting along so well & so fast. Supposedly he was mistreated &amp;amp;amp; all that, & did not like men at all. I proved that wrong. And have been one of very few people that were able to dog play & dog sit without him raising hell & being an absolute shit to.
I am trying to find a way to tell my good friend Steve the news. He also spent a lot of time with Bear as his caretaker, and more, and he should know what is happening.

So a note for any of you in "the willys group", I just ask:

PLEASE, LET ME BE THE ONE TO TELL HIM !!! Don't spill the beans by offering condolences, or anything unless he or I bring it up in conversation @ the bar. I know he had a strong tie to Bear, and stronger with Bear's current owner. Some of you know the story and understand what I am getting at so I would deeply appreciate cooperation on this.

On a lighter note. This sort of relates to my last post. I think I found Hopkin Green Frog. He has been kidnapped by scientists & turned into a robot.

<{ CLINK HERE }> Warning. This is REALLY odd

Blessed Be.
Dr. Strangelove