Kamikaze Fruits

If an onion cuts you,


Does it cry?

My New girlfriend likes it raw!

You gotta see her! Like she's this artist and stuff. She really brings home the bacon too.

Wow!

Click her name below to see :

Gabriela Rivera

;-)

Movie Reviews of 2005 #17 - The Brothers Grimm

I almost did not do a review of this movie because I know that no matter what I say for comments, there will be someone that is adamantly opposed.

For them, I say Tough Shit! If you feel that way then get off your fattened red ass & say something, get a blog & don't be a pussy about it & set it to 'no comments', with a screen name of "anono######", get some balls & make your voice heard! It might lead to other endeavors that will get you out doing things other than downloading porn in your mothers basement.

That said, I thought Grimm was a halfway decent flick. Within seconds you know it is a Terry Gilliam flick. Just in the look & feel of the images on screen, and the settings, sound, & everything, it could not be anyone else. And this continues throughout to the end of the movie.

This is a really, and I mean REALLY odd two hours packed & woven of every fairy tale you have ever head of, and probably many that have slipped the mind over the generations. We were wondering if people will play drinking games when the DVD comes out like "guess the tale" where the 1st one to guess makes someone else drink, if you are wrong, you have 2 drinks, if no one knows, that would be one of the team drinks.

As you might have guessed, or heard already, THIS IS NOT A MOVIE FOR CHILDREN! There are scenes in here that made us all wince. And if you like small animals & white fluffy kittens, you might want to consider going to Devils Rejects instead. Older teens may be able to handle things, but the young'ins will get very freaked out and you can kiss a quick bedtime goodbye for a long time.

There were quite a few things I liked about it, but almost as much that left me hanging. Overall the pace was semi-frantic, but there were times that I would have gone to go grab a smoke & a soda if I wasn't doing the QA on the dryrun, it bogged that bad. As much as there was really funny stuff, it was later countered by things that were either "WTF?" or "EEAWWWUH!". I think that is one of the odd charms of some of Gilliams movies {ie The Fisher King, Brazil, etc.}.

So, all in all, umm, {cough}, the best I can recommend is, if you go to see the Brothers Grimm, you will love it, or you will hate it, or you will just sit there in a catatonic state of wonderment.

Blessed Be, Dr. S.

Where were the large areolas last night?

I just got back from looking all around the northern skies for large areolas.

Several news shows, both national & local said if you went out north of town, past the bright lights & light pollution, you would see large flashing areolas. This is attributed to sun spots that occurred 2 days ago, and this morning there would be the biggest areola flashing seen in North America in years.

I didn't even see a wet tee-shirt, not even a half nipple, {with exception to Led, but that doesn't count, he was playing with icecubes}.

I was expecting to see all the different colors of areolas flashing red, pink, brown, fuchia, etc. and didn't see diddy. Actually I did see 'diddy' last night, he was still bitching about how pee was getting between him & his fans. If you ask me, he needs to get a sponsorship from Depends if that is the case.

Ohh, umm, I stand corrected. It was auroras that were going to flash.

That would have been nice to see too.

Never Mind . . .

Breasted Be:
Dr. Emily Litella

OK, HOW 2 LEAVE A COMMENT 101

I found out last night from my best friend that he could not leave a comment without creating a blogger account. I have heard this from others that wanted to comment, but could not.

WELL, WRITE THIS DOWN KIDS!

Since I started the bomb factory of idiotic repose & rambling, the comments have been set to *ANYONE* can comment. However there are times in life where people just forget how to read.

Case in point:
I am working a play that has a policy of no admission after the show starts @ 8pm.
however people will POUND on the door @ 8:35 & get pissed because they cannot get in.
Even though the art gallery has been closed for over 3 hours, {sign stating that}, and it is over 30min into the play. WITH A SIGN IN 96pt. TYPE SIZE STATING SUCH, RIGHT WHERE THEY ARE POUNDING ON THE FUCKING DOOR!

Anyway, back to the comments section. It gives you three {3} options to choose an identity when you goto submit:

• Login as a Blogger account, meaning if you use blogger, login & go
• Other, enter your name & maybe your web page {doesn't have to be yours}
• OR, anonymous, you may think I do not know who you are, but I have ways of finding out.

OHH, ALMOST FORGOT! Sorry I had to install *word verification* to get rid of the comment spamming I have been getting.

So, please comment good or bad on what is here. Just don't think about selling me stock options or breast augmentation. I will track & kill you off.

Happy note: full moon day yesterday & today, enjoy the outside.

Blessed Be,
Dr. Strangelove

Movie Reviews of 2005 #16 - The 40 Year Old Virgin

I went into work last night {8/19} wondering which of the three films we had received would be one that I get trained on how to "quality check" for dry-runs. It was a choice of Red Eye, Valiant, or 2 prints of 'The 40 Year-Old Virgin.

For those that do not know what a dry run is. What normally happens when a movie opens on a Friday, for instance, the theatre will get the print the previous day, {Thursday}, and do what is called a "build" of the movie. This consists of taking the four to eight reels of film out of the cans & splice them into one big ass reel with all of the trailers & things attached as well. While doing this the person building the print also attaches cue marks for the slides to turn off, the lights to dim, and them dim again when the feature starts. And then the reverse at the end of the show.

The dry run is when somebody has to fill out documentation of all the cues, trailers, splices, correct sound & visual format, time out all of the reels, and overall make sure that the presentation is ok for public viewing. So if something is bad with the print, it gets fixed, or will be fixed by the first show Friday morning. It may just be fixing a splice, or correcting a mechanical problem with things. Or having to overnight. {keep in mind if reel #5 in a 8 reel show is scratched, the order is made normally around 3-3:30 AM, delivered & put back into the show for an 11am showing - not easy!} So we get to see movies literally first run, & sometimes a whole day before it opens.

Anyway! As by the title of my post you probably figured out which show I got to see.

AND IT WAS A BLAST! When I 1st saw the teasers for 40 YOV I thought "this could be good, but given the crap that has been coming out of late, it has a 90% chance of severe suckassedness. BOY, was I pleasantly surprised!

It is a story of a 40 year-old stockroom clerk that gets busted by his friends, by telling a "nasti sex experience" story during a poker game when his turn came up. They discovered his deep dark secret . . . . That he is still a virgin.

From there the buddies try to get him laid. And a lot of best laid plans, went totally bad. This is where most of the humour comes from in the movie, but it isn't the Porkey's & American Pie kind of stuff. This is actually funny because it is funny on it's own.

Much of the laughs are from the fact that most everyone can associate with the awkwardness of 'the first time', and uncomfortable fear of things not going as planned. And with that we can sit watching & knowing how this guys feels in this situation.

I REALLY want to get into the details of the show, but I cannot do that without giving away many spoilers.

But I will say this. If you are a fan of the musical "Hair", you will definitely walk out of the theatre with a smile on your face.

Blessed Be,
Dr. S.

Work, love, ice, & beer. And an apology

Some of you know that I have been conscripted to working performances since the mid 70's. My latest venture is a fledgling group that is still in the first season, and it will take some time but, it actually may get out of the little nest in the attic of a barn. And may be able to live on its own.

That aside, we closed our show tonight & packed all of the props & crap that we had. Put most of the art pieces back in place. After stuffing 47 chairs back into storage, me pulling the cables for my lights & speakers, and what not, I got asked to go & "have a drink" across the street.

"WTF? You got some balls to ask me that right now" Was my 1st thought, then I came out out of my *show mode*, got my shit packed in the car, grabbed a smoke, considered going to my job on the other end of town and then said to myself .

What the Fuck. Time to play nice.

Even though I originally thought the script {Bevis voice: Sucked more than anything has ever sucked before}, and many people that I showed the original script to concurred.

However now the show is done & gone, I now can say this:

I knew something was there. Otherwise my ass would have been glowing hotter than the shuttle on re-entry from how fast I would have been running away from the project.

I must apologize to Terri & Duncan. I was playing devils advocate just to piss you off & push you and the minions that you had to deal with into getting the shit straight and spot on,

just to prove me wrong.

And It Worked.

Blessed Be ,
and don't crack your marble. ;-}>
Dr. S.

And goodnight to you too, Mr. Jennings

I meant to post this several days ago when I found out. But I have been having several problems with my laptop, internet, and several other things.

Peter Jennings did a hell of a lot more than just sit behind a desk reading off of a sheet of paper or teleprompter.
. He died this past weekend from lung cancer.

He started the first news "base" in the middle east. And later on still was on the frontline of anything major going on around the world. And I know that there are many, many things that if I knew, would amaze everyone. And blow my space on blogger out of the water.

In my life, have met Tom Brokaw, Walter Cronkite, Dan Rather, Bill Paley, and so many people from the media due to the political "hell raising" my father used to, {and still does, but less conspicuous}, raise. But when I met Peter Jennings, I can not understand how ANYONE would be able to not feel like they are talking to someone that is a trusted friend, & be comfy with, in an interview.

From this I am trying {SERIOUSLY}, to cut down & hopefully quit smoking.

Blessed Be all, J.B.

"Every time you masturbate....God kills a kitten."

WOW! These guys , umm. . . Wait:

.They ARE from Cali.
..They are both priests.
...special order Krispy Kreme's from Washington
....Obviously do not like pussies,
......but love socks on their hands,
.......and enjoy video'ing puppets & dwarves {sorry "little people"}


BUT DO NOT THINK ABOUT TOUCHING YOUR 'PRIVATE PLACE' or god will smite you down & have a pack of cutting hares nibble @ your naughti bits.

<{-CLICK BELOW-}>
Wired News: XXXchurch Wants No More XXX

I don't know. It seems to these morons that, it is ok to kill small housepets, make fun of those that are not of normal stature, it is fine to show a sock puppet taking a load. "lets call him bunkey!".

But do not ever touch yourself "down there" not even when you go to make #1. AND NEVER TOUCH DOWN THERE WHEN DOING #2!!

For that is just heathen like & will not be toilet-rated.

Blessed Be all. I now have to go renounce my ordination;
Dr. Strangelove

P.S. I just hope that "Rick" at Krispy Kreme is not in charge of the pastry filling machine.

Rigging, and how to not strap yourself down

OK. I will admit I have been a total asshole to everyone around me for the last five or six days.

I have had a buttload of things come down on me in a very short period of time.

I do not know where to begin. But I will try.

Today is the deadline for applications for getting certified in rigging. Not the kind of bullshit "I took a seminar & got a piece of paper saying I know what I am doing".
THIS IS ACTUAL CERTIFICATION RECOGNIZED BY EVERYONE IN THE WHOLE FUCKING WORLD!

For those that do not know what I speak of. . . If you go to a concert, major art event, or anything involving 12 ton to 12 oz. Hanging above, it needs to be hung by someone that knows what the hell needs to be done in order to not cause harm to either staff or audience.

I took training from one of the top of the field, Bill Sapsis, 2 years ago. I have studied rigging, I have done rigging, I have corrected people on how they have rigged things. I admit, I am a pain in the ass about the safety of some of the things that I see. The people in Cali. thought I was joking about needing fall arrest safety harnesses, and a spotter on the ground, when they said I had to "dust the ceiling above the snack bar".

NOTE: In order to do this, I had to be 25+ feet in the air, and between 15' & 36' off center from the lift base and be able to drive the thing without seeing what I might run into. Yeah, I didn't need a spotter!

Anyway, last Thursday I found out that I might not qualify for even being considered for taking the tests to get certified as a rigger.


That pissed me off.

Then I get a royal ass chewing from:

• Not One
• Not Two
• Not even in the single digits

All weekend long about one thing or another.

I am a heartless cad. Uncaring S.O.B. No direction in my life. Bunny Killer.

Well, as of yesterday, {Mon. 8/1/05}, it is official that I am not even close to getting even NEAR to any of the rigging cert. tests.

It is amazing that I can lose one of my best friends, possibly lose my job, might lose my home, my hair, & my mother, {reverse that order please}.

And I get pissy with everyone in my life,

because of a fucking test.

If I have not done so already, I sincerely apologize to all.

Blessed Be, Dr. S.