Teen Finds She's Pregnant at 11th Hour

This is about an 18 year-old highschool basketball player. I could not let this go without a quip, but I could not decide what to say. Just click the possible color commentary below to read the story.

SHE SHOOTS, SHE SCORES, MAKING THE SPREAD EVEN WIDER!
WHAT A BALL HANDLER!
WOW, CAN SHE DRIBBLE!
AND SUCH DELIVERY!
OHHH WAS THAT A GREAT LAYUP OR WHAT!?!
LET'S SEE IF SHE GOES FOR TWO!
IT'S AMAZING HOW SHE PLAYS OFF THAT BACKBOARD!
BOY, YOU CAN TELL SHE REALLY ENJOYS SLAMMING THOSE BALLS HOME!