Movie Reviews of 2005 #28 - Wolf Creek

We were supposed to watch this movie Thursday night as it was supposed to come in along with other films that are opening this weekend. Minor flaw with that plan was that Technicolor somehow only gave the delivery company 2/5's of the reels of the movie. For me I think it is hard to miss a giant blaze orange steel box that weighs over 50 lbs., but that's just me.

So we got the second half of the movie last night, got ourselves pumped up to see a good blood & gore, hack 'em up, scary horror movie.

And ended up watching some fucking college kids vacation movie. After waiting & wanting to see a good terror movie, we discovered the "terror" must have been a typo for the word "terrible". Yes, there is blood & gore & stuff. BUT IT IS OVER AN HOUR/TEN INTO THE MOVIE!!!!
Hell, it took almost 15min. to get to the damn opening titles. It got to the point of boredom for all of us that when the violence actually started we so lulled by boredom, the gore did not register a single bit. To quote one of the comments on IMDB "...so achingly dull and borderline pointless that when it comes time for McLean [the director] to rev up his engine and start the mayhem, interest in any of this has evaporated."

The movie got over, the lights came up, and we all could not figure out how this movie ever got made & released to such accolades by the critics.

This is another case of W.T.F. are these assholes in hollywood thinking? This is not "THE MOST TERRIFYING MOVIE OF THE YEAR". Hell, it is nothing more than a very cheap, {read the whole thing looks like a sophomore filmschool project}, Aussie knock-off of Texas Chainsaw meets Blair Witch.

This is one of the most disappointing pseudo-horror bullshit films that have come out. The only saving grace is that they did not have the silly assed shot of the alarm clock stopping at 3:02 AM to forewarn danger is at hand like all of the other "horror" movies in the last year. This movie would not even qualify as one of those crappy Showtime exclusive special features.
Do not bother going to see this in the theatre, avoid the temptation to rent or buy the DVD {which I predict will come out sometime in Feb.}, instead see a really scary movie like Brokeback Mountain.

Blessed Be, & Merry Yule!
Dr. S

Movie Reviews of 2005 #27 - KING KONG aka Benny & the Jets

I would have done this earlier but, we did not get out until 4:15, I had to pick up my tools from tearing out & repairing both a toilet & a urinal, {the glamour of working in the theatre industry ya' know}, and my internet is being nauti.

King Kong is great! When the closing credits rolled it did not seem that we had been sitting & watching for over three hours. It is impressive from the start, and doesn't let you away from the what is happening until the end.

As many of you know this is a remake of a classic movie. For the rest of you that still may have water behind your ears, or do not realize that black & white movies were actually done that way not for "artistic reasons", but there was no other way to shoot the damn things, yes life was not in colour for a very, very, long time.
But all the same, with a new age, there is new vision.

And this vision for a remake of a classic movie is spot on. This is one of the extremely few remakes that holds up to the original, but makes it better justifying itself. And overall, one of two movies that I have seen in the last two years that lives up to the pre-release hype. NO, I am not getting soft & backing off on what I think in my reviews. Just stay away from Syriana, and see King Kong, hell, stay FAR away from Syriana, and watch paint dry for that matter. But I digress . . .
Following the story of King Kong, this movie is impressive with the flawless integration of modern technology to update the story, but still keep it in the 1930's New York setting. Many films drop all the money in FX & CGI in fantastical stuff that is the foreground as to keep your eyes on the screen. In the case of King Kong, there is a buttload of care taken to cover what is in the background, & then you have the impressive "blow you away" stuff on top of it.
There are very few things bad about this movie. And I know that it will be received very well by all that see it. And watching the trailers that we had before the movie, the first week of May will also be kick ass.

So go see it in the theatre, enjoy it in the theatre, and you will not regret it. Because once you see it on VHS or DVD,
you will wish you had seen it in a theatre.

Blessed Be, & enjoy the show

Dr. S.

OHH, I almost forgot. The reference to Benny & the Jets in the subject line:

Many popular movies have "code names" on the shipping packs. This is to prevent people from shagging off with a print, copying it, and making bootlegs. Or in some cases holding it for ransom. So the production companies send out the boxes with these oddball names on the cans.
DISCLAIMER: The code name for King Kong is not 'Benny & the Jets', I did not want to use the real one so not to be blamed for print thefts.

The actual code name is a totally "how the fu({ they come up with that?" thing that none of us can figure out the origin. But Benny & the Jets makes more sense.

May you all have a Merry Yule!

Movie Reviews of 2005 #26 - Syriana

Since we did not pay to see this movie we cannot ask for our money back.
BUT CAN WE GET TWO HOURS BACK FROM THE PEOPLE THAT MADE THIS PIECE OF SHIT!?!

Obviously there was a turkey left on the counter since Thanksgiving, because this one could feed a large extended family if it wasn't so rotten & smelly.
Many people "in the know" are singing praises & kudos about this film. I honestly think they all got paid off by the producers. Either that or someone laced the water supply with crack & LSD. IT IS BAD, REALLY BAD, REALLY BORING & BAD, and that is the best/kindest words uttered by anyone that came out of the screening this morning. Actually the kindest thing was "ZZZzzzz, uhmm, Oh it's over?" after we had to wake her up.

It is convoluted, confusing, disjointed, nothing what-so-ever tying the sub plots together until the last 10 minutes, AND DULLER THAN DIRT. Oh and did I mention that we all that it was bad? I thought George Clooney & Matt Damon had better taste in what shows to choose, but obviously not. Then again they may been on the crack & LSD water too.

The people responsible:

Produced by
Sarah Bradshaw	....	associate producer
George Clooney	....	executive producer
Ben Cosgrove	....	executive producer
Jennifer Fox	....	producer
Georgia Kacandes	....	producer
Elizabeth Kirkscey	....	associate producer
Shannon Lail	....	associate producer
Michael Nozik	....	producer
Jeff Skoll	....	executive producer
Steven Soderbergh	....	executive producer

These people should be taken out and bitch-slapped for misleading people into thinking that they are going to drop good money to see an action/political thriller. Matter of fact I know there are laws against deception of what you are selling & "bait & switch" scams.
Point blank, if you want to see this movie as an "action thriller". Save your money and just watch the commercial or trailer, because ALL of the action & thrills from the movie are there.

Syriana is the worst movie I have seen in a long time, {if not ever}, and everyone else at the screening felt the same. It was even more boring & crappy than Constant Gardener. At least that movie had great visual settings & locations. This movie on the otherhand was dull & drab looking at every location {and there were many}, that they shot at. Several of us noticed that someone must have gathered a shit-tonne of frequent flyer miles, maybe they can send those miles out to refund the two hours of my life lost to watching this & attempting to stay awake.

Do I even need to go into my rating scale on this one? I don't think so.

Blessed Be, & stay away from this flick
Dr. Strangelove

The Day The Music Died, 25 years later

In July of 1980 I had the honor of going to the 1980 Democratic convention as a page for the South Dakota delegation. My father was there also as a delegate. It was fun for me as I had a higher security clearance than the delegates, and I also was doing live reports back to a radio station that I worked at {am1520}, here in Sioux Falls.

I got my 15 minutes of fame when I tied several strings to a balloon & sent it up to the upper deck to get Amy Carters autograph & all three networks zoomed in on the secret service grabbing the balloon as a "disturbance near the Carter family...". I found out later I had several agents behind me on the floor of Madison Square ready to take me down. As the agent above me grabbed the note & read it, he leaned over & gave me the "ok sign" {it actually was to the agents behind me that I was not a threat}. He then passed the note down to Amy, she signed it & threw it back down, and then kept the balloon. Dammit, it was my balloon & I wanted to keep it! After turning around & realizing the guys in suits with guns I thought better to
let it be.
Which, in in odd segue, gets me back to why I am writing this post about John Lennon & his death.

During our stay in NYC, there were many gatherings, most that I could not goto due to my age. But there was one for both the North & South Dakota Delegations that was held not only at the Dakota Apartments, but next door to John & Yoko Ono.

As our group got off of the subway & made it across the street to the building, we all were in awe of its beauty. As we got closer & went into the entryway to get admitted I turned to my dad & said "You know for someplace that has this much money, this would be a great place to get mugged or something", while pointing at the empty little doormans vestibule.

Little did I know.

Fast forward five months to Dec. 8th 1980. I was typing a paper on my dads computer in the basement & listening to the radio when I heard the news of John Lennon being shot. I was stunned. Then thirty minutes later they announced that he had died. And the place he was killed at was in the entryway of the Dakota Apartments, exactly where I stood in July telling my dad about how someone could get jumped there.

A cold shiver went through my whole body & I could not do anything but stare at the wall for I don't know how long. I finally got back to my senses, printed my report, talked to my parents for a while, & went to bed.
The next morning I went to the radio station to do the talkshow that we had before school & found the drapes pulled on the big window facing Main Ave. Normally this is wide open so that people can look in on the FM studio & wave at the dj's, give them crap, request songs, etc. I went in to the AM side & saw the morning DJ for the FM station just sobbing.

Ginger is one of, if not the biggest Beatles fan I have ever met & probably ever will. And she is not a someone of fragile persona & at times could make sailors & marines blush. But she sat in the other studio totally broken.

I found out from the others that several people kept calling in with dedications like "hit me with your best shot" and other gun toting kind of songs & artists, and Ginger finally lost it. As I was affected by the situation in a totally different & creepy way, I thought it better that I did not try to say anything to her. A half hour into our show we saw in the other studio Ginger leave & our Gen. Mgr. took over the rest of her shift.

Twenty five years later, and it does not seem that long ago, I still think about the whole thing, me standing in that exact spot, and to a point, knowing something bad would happen.

I just didn't think it would end an era of one of the most influential musical groups, and songwriting teams in the genesis of what was rock & roll.

<{[More from Wikipedia here]}>

John Winston Lennon
Oct. 9, 1940 - Dec. 8, 1980

Blessed Be John
And may you rest well
knowing that you have influenced many people,
and will for the rest of time.

Jon B

Movie Reviews of 2005 #25 - The Chronicles of Narnia

OK. I will start this off by stating that the self-righteous assholes out there that are raising a big stink about this movie, need to go & get a life that consists of more than playing RPG's on the internet in the parent's basement/attic, and finding hidden messages in the want ads.

THIS IS AN ALL OUT GREAT MOVIE! When the Disney opening logo came up & there was a dark screen I fell back in my seat thinking, "Oh crap, nine reels {2h:15m+} of smarmy touchy tripe from the rat-gods!". It is slow to get up & going & a very darkly imaged film at the start, and if you are not familiar with the story, or like me, have not read it in over thirty-two years, you will not know what the hell is going on. But as the film goes on, the exposition is not being stuffed down your throat and develops very nicely. And soon you find yourself in the story & following along with the characters as the story progresses.

ALSO, from the start you will notice the CGI & special effects are absolutely FREAKIN' FANTASTIC! {That is once you realize when it is being used}. The detailing is the best I have seen in a movie in years. And that includes the last star wars, Sin City, & other "super-hyper effect" movies. When a group walks through snow, they all left separate foot tracks, when the lion Aslan speaks to the others across a candle-lit table the flames move with his breath. Plain & simple, Harry Potter & the troll movies about hoarding rings can drop to the ground & kiss this movie's ass in production beauty & stunning effects.

When I left the theatre I knew I had seen a good movie. The more I have been thinking about it, I really like it. And it is something that the whole family will enjoy without any concern of offense, but less concern of going into a diabetic seizure from the standard Disney sugar coating that they normally force feed to us theatre goers as of the last few years.

Personally I think the movie is great, but I also think it could have been better if it had not been produced by the minions of Mike Eisner & co.

Go see this movie.

Blessed Be, Dr. Strangelove

Not a bad price for an Xbox, but for the box. . . priceless

In the excitement of the 360 fever I thought this is a good lesson.

A fool and his money are soon parted

And people wonder why I don't deal with Ebay-diots.

merry new year
Dr. S.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING ALL ! !

So here we are again. Many are waiting to stuff things into dead birds, {though it might be a felony in some places}, watch the parade, eat, watch games on TV, eat some more, fall asleep on the couch, wakeup & eat some more again, watch replays of games you missed while passed out, and then go shopping.

For those of you that have as dismal life as I do. Here are a couple flash games to play while waiting for the bird to fry.

<{:- EASY TURKEY SHOOT -:}> - - I wish I could say this was mine.

And for those more adventurous & needing a better challenge:

<{:- HARDER TURKEY SHOOT -:}> - - This actually takes some skill

Happy Gobbilin' & don't freeze while waiting for the stores to open @ 5 a.m.

Blessed Be. Dr. Strangelove

Movie Reviews of 2005 #24 - The Ice Harvest

Having Been given the choice of six movies that open here today "Wed. 11/23/05", of
Rent, In The Mix, Pride & Prejudice, Yours Mine & Ours, Just Friends, & The Ice Harvest, I ended up watching The Ice Harvest.

I have been involved in 2.5 productions of the musical, don't care to sit through 2 hours of {c}rap music, P&P just plain looked {and is} boring as hell, YM&O is purely rehashed Disney shit, and Just Friends just plain did not look funny. So I did not argue with the choice.

It is an interesting, odd, and dark comedy about a 'not so good goodfella', Charlie {played by John Cusack}, that ripped off his mobster thug type boss Bill Guerrard, {Randy Quaid}, that tries to control everything he can, {but not as despicable as Wild Bill}, for over $2.000.000 on christmas eve. Due to an ice storm, he and his partner in crime Vic, {Billy Bob Thornton}, decide to part ways for the night & head out the next morning. The body of the story focuses on the odd happenings that go on throughout the night.

Overall Ice Harvest was fairly interesting. Knowing Harold Ramis' past works we all were expecting some twisted humour & odd setups for the characters. However the only thing that really stuck in my mind and others was Charlie's sidekick buddy Pete played by Oliver Platt. He had some of the best screen stealing lines & actions in the whole movie as a totally piss-drunk dumb-ass that we all at one time have met, {or some have been}, that you cannot help but love the guy.

Despite many flaws that those of us that have actually lived through ice storms, and even more evident to those of us that ice/winter storms are a matter of life, such as:

• There wasn't any ice glaze on any of the cars or what I like calling 4 wheeled ice cubes
• You could not see anybodies breath
• Cars going faster than 12 MPH will not turn on black ice
• And many other things that anyone that has lived in the real midwest during the winter months know & live with, and absolutely hate.

We all had a good time during the movie.

If you have problems picking up on stupid one liners, odd things happening that don't pay off until later on, or don't enjoy following a dark comedy because you have to think.

This movie will not be for you. Just wait until it comes out on DVD with a booklet on how to understand, & closed captioning with commentary.

Otherwise, I think this might be one of those movies that you will goto see, then buy it & it manages to stay in the frequently played stack.

Blessed Be, Dr. S.

P.S. There are pancakes in heaven, and a lot of other stuff too.

WHY WOMEN CUM, er COME IN, er TO SOUTH DAKOTA!

Look out women, we men here in South Dakota will lick you silly! This is a semi-serious survey done by the gays & dolls @ Men's Fitness & Shape magazines.
<{[ CLICK HERE ]}>
"Dakota's gals report receiving more oral sex than women in any other state. Maybe that's because Mount Rushmore guys have the greatest concern of all the men we surveyed over whether their partners reach orgasm or whether they truly feel satisfied at the end of a sexual encounter."

This explains why the women here have such big smiles?

Blessed Be, and pass the Carmex, Dr. Strangelove

Hairy pothead & forgetting his ticket

I was going to post this last night, {well for me, last night, for others it would be Friday morning}.

The expected onslaught of freaks for the midnight showing caused us to have people standing door for the midnight showing of the new Harry Potter movie. We had shows starting @ 12:01, 12:10, 12:20, & 12:30. People, {I use that term generously}, started showing up around 4pm, and were rather nice & easy to deal with compared to the Star Wars early shows.

I got called to make sure I was going to come in, and if "you were not planning on working on anything tonight...", so that I could stand door for the four shows.

I said what the heck, it gives me a chance to work without the threat of bodily harm, and I get to dress up! Little did I know. . . .

So, I showed up in full dress jacket, tie & slacks. Several of my co-workers did not recognize me since I did not have my standard baseball cap or denim shirt & jeans. I then found out that I had to stand door for the 1st showing.

Now Keep in mind here that THIS is the show that is the one everyone else wants to sneak into, sneak others into, and boast that they were the "first ones" to see the movie.

{little do they know, all four of the prints were watched almost 24 hours earlier by those of us that work at the theatre}.

So I say PPffffffffTTTT!!!! And I would taunt them again little wipers of other peoples bottoms!

ANYWAY: We opened the theatre for the 1st show right after the credits ended for the prior showing of Jarhead @ around 9:40 to seat "people" for the 12:01 showing of Harry Potter. BIG ASSED RUSH TO CLAIM SEATS. And each & every one of them were asked to see the ticket they had, and told to "KEEP THIS TICKET WITH YOU IN CASE YOU LEAVE THE THEATRE, YOU WILL NEED IT TO GET BACK IN".

How soon they forget. But when you have to sit in a theatre for 2.5 hours, most are going to want to pee, grab more food, or in the case of some highschool kids sneak out for
"A SMOKE".

After two hours they all got antsy & running in & out. Each & every time being asked "do you have your ticket so you can get back in?". And most of them went back in to grab their ticket, or someone else's, {wink wink wink, we do not give a smelly rats ass if it is YOUR ticket}.

So, back to the title of this post.

A group of eight semi-college aged people stumbled up to the door with their tickets at about 11:50. On the benefit of the doubt they all smoked Marlboro Lights, & they all got "that special blend that smells like something not tobacco....". Yeah Right.

So one of the group came running out of the theatre during the run of the trailers to get more popcorn. {mind you it has been about ten minutes, large bag of 'corn, and he is not sharing with his buddies}. As well as he is a tall white guy with dreadlocks & Burkinstocks looking like someone who dumpster dives @ the goodwill.

He comes back with a full bag of 'corn to go in & I asked him for his ticket.

"Dude, I don't have it dude, whoh it must be in my coat inside with my friends"

After repeating what I told him & the rest of his stonehenged group of psudohippie wannabees when they 1st got there that he cannot get back in without a ticket. {I was busy with other patrons when he left, how the hell do I know he did not have a ticket for the 12:20 show next door?}

I followed him in to the theatre to where {go figure} all of his buddies were in the front row slouched down to the point of almost sliding off the chairs freaking out about how big the picture is. I turned on my maglight while he went through all twelve of his coat pockets to make sure he was in the correct show.

Got the right ticket. I don't mind stoners. I don't mind people dressing up as freaks from a book/movie series.

I do however mind freaky stoners at a childrens show.

Dr. S.

the only way I know how to put it

This was the highlight of Wednesday's performance & loadout of Cats @ the Washington Pavilion once everyone on the crew had read the newspaper. It also led to an interesting discussion @ Willys later on.

Indecent exposure charges pending

USELESS FACTS, Part two

Here is another stupid thing place to check out

DID YOU KNOW...? USELESS FACTS

Somethiing to settle your mind, or bar bet

From Acadamy Awards to Zorb ball roll, this is the place to go.

The longest list of the longest stuff at the longest domain name

Why blow up the best view in Sioux Falls?

I just got done watching the vtr of last nights CBS shows. {Without a Trace was really good & reminded me of a mix of Taxi Driver & Crossing Guard}

I then saw the shots that one of the KELO shooters {the guy/gal with the camera}, did from the top of the Zip Feed mill did the other day & edited into a montage.

WOW!!!! I forgot how impressive the view is from up there. I would inject photos to this as I type, but I am now realizing the BIGGEST reason I was/am so opposed to that area being torn down to build {then} an "events center", and {now} "fruu fruu, pretty nice shiny object, it will benefit all of the people", complex that only will benefit "the people" that own, or are leveraging out others that own the land around the area.
.
READ:
..... 'You may own it now, but we will condemn your properties, and if you do not sell to us, we will go after your personal/business image until we can buy it out through eminent domain, and you will end up penniless, bitch!'.....

POINT A - The events center, Ok, it ties into the Phillips to the falls bullshit.

1. Yeah, lets put a venue that will supposedly draw many thousands of people to the downtown area to pump up the business and draw attention to the downtown area.
1. The only problem is that 98% of said businesses CLOSE AT 5:15pm {ok we got people to the area, they can still window shop}
2. The whole area stinks of either the stockyards, stock rendering, or the place they make hot dogs & other meat products
   
2. We will be replacing the current arena in central S.F. as a venue for major national acts by having a larger venue, thus larger capacity=larger attendance.
1. Does anyone remember the 'Block 11' project? If you don't, it was an offer to build a major multi-use complex in the downtown area. Short sighted dipshits caused it to not happen here. You know what did happen? It became the Rushmore Centre out in Rapid. And for the last twenty+ years Sioux Falls has been bypassed by each & every "major" act in favor of Rapid, and lately Sewer City. {P.S. Think of the Washington Pavilion as a twenty something on 'roids. That is what we could have had by now, and Sioux Falls would be a serious tour stop both band & performing arts}.
2. Ain't gunna happen. Sioux Falls used to be blacklisted by promoters. And it may not be now, many bad memories still float down through the ranks of tour promoters and production managers.
   
3. "LETS PUT A MAJOR ATTRACTION WHERE NO ONE CAN GET TO"
1. Anyone that has lived here, and even more, anyone that has lived on the east side above 10th can tell you north of the crosstown viaduct, if there is a train, you may as well shut you car off & wait until the 3rd train passes. THE CLOSEST MAJOR ACCESS TO THERE IS A MILE AWAY!
2. Cher, {her supposedly her last tour, but formaldahyde can work wonders}, last time through here had over 20 bus & truck vehicles. It pack the whole ass end of the current arena complex. Where the hell would they park them if they were downtown?
   

OK I went off on my rant. I will continue back to the original thought . . . .


We have a great thing between 6th & 8th streets on the river that you can see a ton of things more than you can as a ground dweller.

Duluth, MN turned an old bin/building like the Zip Feed building into a great tourist attraction by gutting the inside, creating many floor levels with small shops, and a great view of everything the city had to offer inside the building as far as local product & such.

But they did not destroy the things around that building. And that is what makes downtown Duluth so great. They instilled the visitor with the history of what that city was, is, and will be.

I would advise anyone that has ever been to Duluth, or even Lincoln, NE, if you somehow come through Sioux Falls, SD. Please.

Stop in at the "commerce centre" @ 8th & Phillips, walk into the chamber of commerce office & tell them how they are:

...butt fucking, ass licking, goat buggering, rat humping, pus pissing, lactating lloyd licking, "let's ignore the eastside", inbreed, disowned redneck, male{or female} gay transexualite multisexual, bigamistic, polytheastic, dirty leaderhosen wearing, dunham diving, greedy, asexual, bukakke swallowing, prepubescent, anal ripping fist fucking {no I didn't forget the comma}, cherry popping, bitch slapping, Dietrich blowing, Anita bryant, DV-DA, choadaboy, goat fucking, bestial bitch, carpet munching, mutant, "oh wait, the eastsiders have money! lets destroy them & make even more money!! Mah whoo wah ha ha", bitches in heat, large nippled, saggie breasted, corn holing, twinkie creaming, star wars wookie, sperm burping techno slut.

Then turn around & walk out the door. . . . . . They will think you are a freak


If you get two or more people to do this with you, they will think you are all transients from under the bridge next door.

If you get several dozen people to do this, they will suspect a revolt from the several shelters that are being forced out.

If you get a bunch of people with walkers, they will know the senior citizens from across the street & down the block are pissed. And they have great sniper positions, and the WHOLE BUILDING covered. {beware of the red dots}

But . . . If we all get together & do this at the same time.


They probably will send us down the hall to sit on the group W bench.

Then again, we can all go in & state the fact that we cannot lose such an icon as the Zip Feed Mill Building that would cost millions to replace the view from the top.

And on that note, it is getting close to thanksgiving. Anyone else want to goto Alice's?

Blessed Be, & enjoy the view while we still have it

Dr. Strangelove

p.s. For those that have taken offence to the language used in this post. I am not sorry that I did this, I just wanted to make sure it gets as many hits as possible by using many of the most frequently searched words & terms, I.E. smutty stuff.

But I am, & will ever be partial of "Sperm Burping Techno Slut". I heard it over ten years ago & it still makes me giggle & smile. And sometimes blow beer & milk through my nose.

Dr. S.

A Long Time Ago, In a Grocery, Far Far Away . . . . .

A good friend of mine, Andy, was checking his email, and got one from his brother, Aaron, whom is in the Air Force, that he said I needed to see.

Aaron currently is not fighting much of anything right now, but he is still there just in case something happens to anger the those on the dark side of "THE FARM...".

And maybe those Nebraska 'husker fans.

Enjoy, & click the link below. It is probably the best Star Wars spoof I have seen yet.

Join the Organic Rebellion

Dr. Strangelove

Movie Reviews of 2005 #23 - Chicken Little

This will just be a quickie, easy to take & no mess.

When I showed up to the theatre last night I was given a choice of movies, I wasn't really given a choice. I ended up watching Chicken Little.

Despite what several of the no life nit-picks @ IMDB say. It is a fun movie. Be it not the greatest to come from Pixar & the big mouse, it is still a fun movie. "egg-citing chick flick" so to speak,

{sorry}.

Overall despite some minor "WTF's", we all enjoyed it, & at times I had tears roll from my eyes from laughing so hard. I won't go into the story because almost everyone knows the story already, and if you don't, get out of the basement & go upstairs & have your mom read it to you.

But you will enjoy it better if you went to see it in the theatre, {just not in #5, someone FUBAR'd the speaker system in there & we don't know when it will be fully straightened out}.

Blessed Be & keep your head covered, Dr. Strangelove

HAPPY HALLOWEEN, MERRY SAMHAIN !

Click HERE to see what other fun things can be done with your gourd.

And click HERE to just entertain, or retard your brain for a while.

Blessed Be All, Dr. Strangelove

Movie Reviews of 2005 #23 - SAW II

"Oh Yes, There Will Be Blood " Is the tagline for this movie. And they did not lie.

Not long after the opening credits for the various agencies involved in the production, we were brutally sucked into the vortex of the perverse 'game' that was just starting.

Oh yes, there was blood. And the blood flowed freely & often throughout the run of this movie. The story starts with a man in a room just waking up wearing a springloaded iron masque of death, not knowing what the hell is going on. Now some people on other sites say that "most of the movie you do not know what to expect,/ what will happen next". I don't know about those guys, but to us it was pretty obvious this guy will not pass the test, thus get his head clamped in the clam-shell device with hundreds of steel spikes, causing massive amounts of blood to spray, and then fell limply to the floor dead.

Past this point I really cannot say more without partial spoilers, or partial nausea, for the readers out there. REALLY, it is a gore fest of the 3rd magnitude. If you or the person with you at the theatre fall under:

• Easily squeamish
• Cannot handle blood, needles, vomit, self mutilation
• have issues with the internal workings of the human body becoming external
• just plain get creeped out & woozy at the drop of a hat

This is not a movie for you, go see Prime instead. For the rest of us, this is a movie you have got to see. Just don't eat a big dinner of pasta before the movie, nor plan on eating pasta afterwards.

There were some flaws in continuity, and several "W.T.F?" moments of the characters doing something totally, retardedly, absolutely, stupid. {You will know what I'm talking about when you see the scenes}. But overall I liked the movie, it's about time the P.C. Hollywood dipshits signed off on a good old fashion bloodbath instead of the torrent of feelgood pablum that is being forced down our throats, in our ears, and through our eyes.

Final Note: If I see ANYONE I know take a kid to this movie.
.
.

Shame on you, you sick twisted fu({s!

Blessed Be, Dr. S.

White Sox WIN ! ! !

It is one thing to get into the world series, it is totally another to do such after over 80 years.

And even more so to win in a four game series close-out.

I am happy.

I just hope to live long enough to see the Cubs do the same. Being that I am originally from Hammond, IN, I am considered a "southsider". {It is a lot easier to say I am from So. Chicago than explain that I was born in what is considered "South Chicago" in the larger picture}. But despite mine & others angst about the total destruction of the original ball park, & then later on, having what was/is considered by those traditionalists of Chicago upbringing . . . .

IT IS COMISKEY PARK DAMMIT, AND ALWAYS WILL BE! Despite the latest trend to rename places of history, places of long known remembrances, and where many people saw the first baseball game of what they can remember, {or think they remember}, because of some contractual obligation to the sponsor that has the most money. It is still Comiskey field to myself & many others.

I am just really happy that they made it to the ALCS series, and then the World Series.

And then they win in in FOUR GAMES!!!!!!@!!!!!!!!!!!!

Once again, I am proud to be a Chicago-an. And now can say I am from the South Side without getting scowled at.

I still really think it would be cool to see the Sox & Cubs in the World Series.


But you would have to lock down the whole tri-state area, enforce marshal law, and basically close down the metro Chicago area if that were to ever happen.

Then again, Lake Michigan would probably turn warm by August if that ever happened, & Petey the peg-legged pirate penguin that prefers puffin porn will finally find the secret to the universal flange. [he was abandoned in Chicago while on a mission, and now is working for me. The whole abandonment issue got him to become one of the black & white side]. Much like the White Sox colors.

Blessed Be, Dr. S.

GOD IS WATCHING!

If you haved ever had questions about your religious beliefs

<{[ click here ]}>

Victoria Givens Shatters World Record

Well, she IS from the same part of the USA as Britney Spears . . . .
.
And has the exact same 'wholesome' image. ;-}>
.
<{[ click here for more of the story]}>

Revenge of the mall singers - DEBBIE GIBSON IS ALIVE!

I just found out that Debbie (aka Deborah) Gibson will be here to do two, YES COUNT THEM TWO!!! shows @ the Washington Pavilion Feb. 11th. Get your tickets soon! {giggle}

Washington Pavilion Event Calendar

Movie Reviews of 2005 #22 - A History of Violence

Any movie that has the word 'violence' in the title should be mandated to include violence. This one does, and quite graphically in the first few minutes.

But when you have to wait more than 20 minutes to see blood & gore from a movie that is advertised as a blood & gore, something is wrong.

At the screening, we had about eight people, within ten minutes it became an extended live version of 'Mystery Science Theatre 3000'. We all knew, or made side-bets of what would happen next, or yelled out our feelings about "what the fuck . . ."

It would not be so bad for the fact that the majority of the movie I could count anywhere from five to eighteen during the EXTREMELY, PAST DUE DATE, LET'S INDUCE FORCED, labored pauses.

There are many out there that think this movie is Oscar material. I think they should put the crack pipe down, stop huffing the kitty litter, and get a life.

This movie is bad, more than bad, it is just plain go strait to $4.99 DVD cut out bin bad. Basis of this opinion you ask?

When you have the whole group of the screening walk outside and in almost unison go, "what the hell, what the fuck, I want the last two hours of my life refunded, etc"

You know it is bad.

P.S. It took me from 2am Thurs. till now to try to find a civil & nice way to phrase this critique. So if you think I railed on it now, you should have heard what the original version was.

Blessed Be, Dr. S.

Movie Reviews of 2005 #21 - Serenity

I waited to make this post until I saw 'Firefly', the series that this movie is not only based on, but contains the cast of as well.

I admit that going into the theatre I was apprehensive about watching a movie so closely tied to a Sci-Fi series that had been bounced from network to network. I had never seen Firefly, and barely remembered what the show was about. But I was in for one hell of a surprise.

THIS FLICK IS DAMN GOOD!

Very often science fiction genre movies are dry of humour, devoid of decent storyline, and appeal to only those that worship the comicbook, cartoon, latenight series, or fantasy bored {spelled correctly in this case}, game. In other words 'outsiders' like myself are not only lost on the nuances, but not included on what the hell is going on.

Serenity however breaks that mold. After two of my cohorts in crime told me the back story, I thought "Oh fuck, not another piece of shit bought out by Hollywood & bastardized into mindless pulp again...".

In the first few minutes of the show I was sucked in, engrossed, and following along with what is going on. And also, by the way, I WAS ENTERTAINED! I did not have to see the series, I did not have to be some pasty 40 year old that argues the difference between "Next Generation" & "Battlestar Galactica", and why one is better than the other. {BTW. I favour DS-9. Why? Because the chicks look better ;-)}.

OK I know I will catch hell for that comment, but that is my opinion, this is my blog, if you disagree fine, counter comment away below. At least I will know someone reads my rantings.

That aside, this is a great film. Sci-Fi with a sense of humour, and a story that will pull in the people least likely to enjoy it, and really blow away the geeks that live in the parents basement.

GO SEE THIS MOVIE! You will not regret it.

Blessed Be, Dr. S.

And now, A PUBIC CERVIX, err, PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENTwATCH &

Click Here to watch & learn about the birds & the bees {giggle}

Remembering the Brotherhood of Yo & Koosh

Almost everyone that reads this & other sites on the 'net have either worked at, or have dealt with someone working at a call center. It is not easy to spend from 8 to 12+ hours a day getting yelled at, assuming the brunt of others anger, try to fix what is wrong, & being personally accused of violating child labor laws. {the customer put his son on the phone to fix the computer @ 12:30am, not me. But I was referred to as a slave driver, etc.}..

So anyway, I was digging around to find some equipment that I needed for my current job and found an unmarked box. I dug it out & opened it and found some of the things that helped to keep me from gassing up the truck & hunting down the assholes I had to deal with on the phones when I was still 'part of the herd'.

Many people do not realize that when they call in to get something fixed, replaced, or need help turning on/using, the object that inevitably they fucked up. It is not smart to threaten the person on the other end of the line.

WE KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE! BE AFRAID, BE VERY, VERY AFRAID . . . .

Aside from common sense, {sometimes not}, the biggest thing that keeps us from tracking you down, ruining your credit report, {you do have a time-share in New Guinea now}, and possibly putting you on the data base as a sexual threat to small Llammas & Lemurs,

Is that we have toys.

I found my Yo-yo's, Klicks, velcro darts, my sticky lizzards, & other sundry things that kept me from hitting the "TELE-TAZER" button to retaliate against the current moron that could not understand that:

• You have to have an active phone line in order to use your modem
• The police will not show up because you have "an illegal error" on your screen
• If the power is off/disconnected, your computer will not turn on
• It is not our responsibility to reset your screensaver back from the slideshow of gay-porn you downloaded from a buddy before your wife & kids see it {poor little kittens}
• When it says "hit any key", the 'anykey' is NOT the blank key in the middle of the arrows. It MEANS "any key on the damn keyboard" just grab the back of your neck & slam your forehead on the keyboard. Trust me, that will take care of the error EVERY TIME!

So we have our toys to satisfy & redirect anger, boredom, & utter perplex of stupidness, in order to serve you better. {and stay out of federal prison}

Just an hint though. Don't try to do an "around the world" with a yo-yo that has a 4.5 year old string without proper safety gear & removing breakables from the area prior.

I can't wait until I find my juggling torches again.

Blessed Be, Dr. S.

LET'S GIT READY TO GAAHHBBLLLE !!! Pt. 1

I thought I should toss off something before having to go & deal with the some of the most concentrated inbread dipshits I have ever had {dis}pleasure to work with.

Yes,Kids! IT'S TURKEY DAYS!

Those of you that have followed some of my exploits know how I feel about this event after working it last year. Those who don't, <{CLICK BACK}> to read my opinion about a whole day set aside to turkeys, chained lawnchairs, and the dumbasses that actually do this annually.

Time to go & pack. hopefully I will not get stormed out by rain.

Dr. S.

Movie Reviews of 2005 #20 - Cry Wolf

I was so disappointed with this movie I posted to IMDB before posting my review here. IMDB has the short & clean version since as I wrote, I realized I needed to tone things down for it to get accepted.

As employees of a theatre, we have to screen the movies in a "dry run" to make sure it was physically assembled properly. In the case of Cry Wolf, the middle four reels could have easily been left in the can & no one would have complained. This movie reminded us all of seeing this movie years ago, but we could not put our fingers on which one it was.

Then is occurred to us that it was not one particular movie, it was bits & pieces of many of the "teen trauma cheesy flicks" from years past, all thrown in to a blender to make a bad vegan breakfast smoothie that would kill off noxious weeds if dumped out.

Imagine a formula movie with:

• some Heathers & Scream with
• a small dash of Indecent Behaviour & Halloween
  
• Puree for 10 seconds.
  
• Add a few pinches of American Psycho
• a handful of crushed lame-ass plot lines
• & a taste of Urban Legends
  
• And continue to mix to a texture of bad.

With the end of the movie you sit & think of all of the plot twists, and background stories, and you wonder what was the point of the last 58 minutes.

This movie is one of many non-impressive, supposed to be something that it is not, should have gone straight to video, movies that have been forced on us in the last year.

All because "Hollywood" has lost its creative originality.

And because of the "reality" trends that have blindsided the industry, like the weather here in S.D., don't expect it to change before it gets more shitty.

It really pisses me off that crap like Alone in the Dark, Hide & Seek, The Ring Two, & The Constant Gardener get green lit for production & release and they end up being SO BAD!

And all of them were promoted as movie genres that they were not. And we cannot just blame the people producing this crap, we the moviegoers need to take blame as well. Nobody has raised a finger about the shit they have been serving us, we just sit back in our couch & swill beer & popcorn with the trusty remote by our side.

STOP THE APATHY & TELL THEM WE WANT MORE THAN TO BE PLACATED!

WE WANT TO BE ENTERTAINED!

Grrrrrrrrrrr!

Blessed Be, Dr. S.

Kory & the Fu(< flys better watch out!

I found this 'One Man Band' named McRorie & thought this guy is nuts! Then I realized I have worked with worse groups in my life.

And since it is a one man show, the crew & promoter have only one ego to deal with. That, & if you watch the videos. This takes some talent.

Not a lot, but a hell more that Kory Van Sickley will ever hope to have.

<{CHECK THIS OUT CLICKING HERE}>

And some of his original music is <{not that bad}>

Rock On, & Keep your earplugs handy:

Dr. S.

Movie Reviews of 2005 #18/19 - A Sound of thunder/Transporter 2

Dues to a technical problem, {that, and we all wanted to see Transporter 2}, we watched 2 movies last night. Both a hella better than 'gardner.

A Sound of Thunder was an interesting movie. Basically we are in 2055 era Chicago, and there has been a discovery of how to go back in time. {sidenote: the Cubs win the series in 2022, I can't wait}, A greedy businessman owns this technology & uses it for sheer profit by holding hunting trips for rich guys to go back in time to hunt dinosaurs. In one trip something happens & sets off a time rift that threatens to ruin civilization & the world as we know it. Blah, blah, blah, they save the world.
Good sci-fi movie & storyline, meets really badspecial effects. This movie has several really good scenes that were overshadowed by effects that could be outdone by a 3-toed sloth on gateway colorbook. Overall it wasn't a bad movie though.

Transporter 2 is a good followup / sequel. Once again, you got cars, guns, chases, well done fights, an interesting series of plot developments, with a dash of humour.
I liked it, I liked it a lot. Although some of the action/stunt scenes are physically impossible in the real world, the suspension of disbelief and your involvement in the story are enough to counter & balance out your enjoyment of the movie.
I recommend this show very much.

I would write more but, after spending about four hours watching movies, & over four hours fixing, rewireing & installing an LED door sign that came back broken from the repair shop, I'm a bit tired.

TTFN, and don't step off the path.

Dr. S.

Movie Reviews of 2005 #17.5 - The Constant Gardener

Bad news guys, The Aristocrats has been pulled from the release for tomorrow. We don't know why, and we don't know when it will get put back on the list. But I will let you all know. As for the review I have of a movie that premiered Weds. night {the last showing had all of 4 people in the audience of one of our 2nd largest capacity screens}

Umm, yeah, The Constant Gardener, {cough}, yeah, Well-ll-ll

How about The constipated Gardener?
The only thing that is more boring & long-winded than this movie is its movie poster that consists of 87% text. The movie was plugged as one of the most anticipated films of the year. Maybe by those with insomnia or other sleep disorders. Action-suspense-thriller? NOT EVEN CLOSE! If you have seen any of the commercials or trailers, you have seen ALL OF THE ACTION, SUSPENSE, AND THRILLS in this shitbomb. Out of five of us, three fell asleep, two for more than 10min. multiple times. We all took multiple breaks to pee or grab a smoke, I myself pee'd 3 times, had 2 cigarettes, and refilled my 32 oz. soda twice. Referring to my original rating scale, it was that bad. Matter of fact it is so bad it does not deserve a spanking, and definitely not the oral-sex, because on its own, it blows !

And as for the R rating, they may have said the "f-word" several times. Other than that, this movie barely deserves PG. They only "sexy bits" were some pregnancy distorted nipples, in VERY soft focus, and an ass shot of her getting out of the shower. Hell, there were more male nipple shots in focus than anything. Makes me wonder if the MMPA has gone rainbow on us all.

One other thing is that this movie runs over two & a quarter hours. It could easily be recut to fit into a one hour timeslot on the WE network. Which there is money riding right now on when that will happen. I don't want to spoil it but, none of us guessed later than new years.

So enough of the rant. Here is the story line:

• Brit. diplomat plays in his garden in Kenya while his wife goes & "saves the world" from plague, aids, TB, and other nasty things
  
• Said wife is murdered & her friend is implicated while they are researching evil doings by the great drug industries of the world that experiment on unwilling people
• find out from the friends associate that the friend "doctor" is gay & would not have had an affair with the wife.
• diplomat gets pissed & takes on where the dead wife left off
• he gets chased {barely} and runs {as only a brit lamely can do}
• after finding what his wife was looking for as proof, the nauti drug company & government officials get slapped on the wrist & the diplomat gets executed.

In short form: couple moves to Kenya, she dies, a friend dies, blame it on evil corporations, mix in a SHIT-TONNE of footage of hopeless, homeless, & hungry women & kids here & there, the guys dies, his buddy exposes all of the bad guys in the government & "the system" Then Sally Struthers comes out wearing a g-string asking for money.

OK, I know the Sally Struthers thing was a bit too much.

They showed her doing a donkey show in Tijuana under the closing credits.

That's how bad this movie was.

Blessed Be. Dr. S

PS/disclaimer: The whole Struthers thing is false. The ASPCA & the Humane Society would have shut the filming down if that were to have happened to that poor donkey.....

The Birthplace of Punk might be closed

If you have not heard yet, the lease on CBGB's expired at midnight. This really disappoints me, and as well many, many music fans around the world. Click the subject line, to find out more. And click the banner to find out how to help save CBGB's.

Blessed Be & pass the earplugs!
Dr. S.

Kamikaze Fruits

If an onion cuts you,


Does it cry?

My New girlfriend likes it raw!

You gotta see her! Like she's this artist and stuff. She really brings home the bacon too.

Wow!

Click her name below to see :

Gabriela Rivera

;-)

Movie Reviews of 2005 #17 - The Brothers Grimm

I almost did not do a review of this movie because I know that no matter what I say for comments, there will be someone that is adamantly opposed.

For them, I say Tough Shit! If you feel that way then get off your fattened red ass & say something, get a blog & don't be a pussy about it & set it to 'no comments', with a screen name of "anono######", get some balls & make your voice heard! It might lead to other endeavors that will get you out doing things other than downloading porn in your mothers basement.

That said, I thought Grimm was a halfway decent flick. Within seconds you know it is a Terry Gilliam flick. Just in the look & feel of the images on screen, and the settings, sound, & everything, it could not be anyone else. And this continues throughout to the end of the movie.

This is a really, and I mean REALLY odd two hours packed & woven of every fairy tale you have ever head of, and probably many that have slipped the mind over the generations. We were wondering if people will play drinking games when the DVD comes out like "guess the tale" where the 1st one to guess makes someone else drink, if you are wrong, you have 2 drinks, if no one knows, that would be one of the team drinks.

As you might have guessed, or heard already, THIS IS NOT A MOVIE FOR CHILDREN! There are scenes in here that made us all wince. And if you like small animals & white fluffy kittens, you might want to consider going to Devils Rejects instead. Older teens may be able to handle things, but the young'ins will get very freaked out and you can kiss a quick bedtime goodbye for a long time.

There were quite a few things I liked about it, but almost as much that left me hanging. Overall the pace was semi-frantic, but there were times that I would have gone to go grab a smoke & a soda if I wasn't doing the QA on the dryrun, it bogged that bad. As much as there was really funny stuff, it was later countered by things that were either "WTF?" or "EEAWWWUH!". I think that is one of the odd charms of some of Gilliams movies {ie The Fisher King, Brazil, etc.}.

So, all in all, umm, {cough}, the best I can recommend is, if you go to see the Brothers Grimm, you will love it, or you will hate it, or you will just sit there in a catatonic state of wonderment.

Blessed Be, Dr. S.

Where were the large areolas last night?

I just got back from looking all around the northern skies for large areolas.

Several news shows, both national & local said if you went out north of town, past the bright lights & light pollution, you would see large flashing areolas. This is attributed to sun spots that occurred 2 days ago, and this morning there would be the biggest areola flashing seen in North America in years.

I didn't even see a wet tee-shirt, not even a half nipple, {with exception to Led, but that doesn't count, he was playing with icecubes}.

I was expecting to see all the different colors of areolas flashing red, pink, brown, fuchia, etc. and didn't see diddy. Actually I did see 'diddy' last night, he was still bitching about how pee was getting between him & his fans. If you ask me, he needs to get a sponsorship from Depends if that is the case.

Ohh, umm, I stand corrected. It was auroras that were going to flash.

That would have been nice to see too.

Never Mind . . .

Breasted Be:
Dr. Emily Litella

OK, HOW 2 LEAVE A COMMENT 101

I found out last night from my best friend that he could not leave a comment without creating a blogger account. I have heard this from others that wanted to comment, but could not.

WELL, WRITE THIS DOWN KIDS!

Since I started the bomb factory of idiotic repose & rambling, the comments have been set to *ANYONE* can comment. However there are times in life where people just forget how to read.

Case in point:
I am working a play that has a policy of no admission after the show starts @ 8pm.
however people will POUND on the door @ 8:35 & get pissed because they cannot get in.
Even though the art gallery has been closed for over 3 hours, {sign stating that}, and it is over 30min into the play. WITH A SIGN IN 96pt. TYPE SIZE STATING SUCH, RIGHT WHERE THEY ARE POUNDING ON THE FUCKING DOOR!

Anyway, back to the comments section. It gives you three {3} options to choose an identity when you goto submit:

• Login as a Blogger account, meaning if you use blogger, login & go
• Other, enter your name & maybe your web page {doesn't have to be yours}
• OR, anonymous, you may think I do not know who you are, but I have ways of finding out.

OHH, ALMOST FORGOT! Sorry I had to install *word verification* to get rid of the comment spamming I have been getting.

So, please comment good or bad on what is here. Just don't think about selling me stock options or breast augmentation. I will track & kill you off.

Happy note: full moon day yesterday & today, enjoy the outside.

Blessed Be,
Dr. Strangelove

Movie Reviews of 2005 #16 - The 40 Year Old Virgin

I went into work last night {8/19} wondering which of the three films we had received would be one that I get trained on how to "quality check" for dry-runs. It was a choice of Red Eye, Valiant, or 2 prints of 'The 40 Year-Old Virgin.

For those that do not know what a dry run is. What normally happens when a movie opens on a Friday, for instance, the theatre will get the print the previous day, {Thursday}, and do what is called a "build" of the movie. This consists of taking the four to eight reels of film out of the cans & splice them into one big ass reel with all of the trailers & things attached as well. While doing this the person building the print also attaches cue marks for the slides to turn off, the lights to dim, and them dim again when the feature starts. And then the reverse at the end of the show.

The dry run is when somebody has to fill out documentation of all the cues, trailers, splices, correct sound & visual format, time out all of the reels, and overall make sure that the presentation is ok for public viewing. So if something is bad with the print, it gets fixed, or will be fixed by the first show Friday morning. It may just be fixing a splice, or correcting a mechanical problem with things. Or having to overnight. {keep in mind if reel #5 in a 8 reel show is scratched, the order is made normally around 3-3:30 AM, delivered & put back into the show for an 11am showing - not easy!} So we get to see movies literally first run, & sometimes a whole day before it opens.

Anyway! As by the title of my post you probably figured out which show I got to see.

AND IT WAS A BLAST! When I 1st saw the teasers for 40 YOV I thought "this could be good, but given the crap that has been coming out of late, it has a 90% chance of severe suckassedness. BOY, was I pleasantly surprised!

It is a story of a 40 year-old stockroom clerk that gets busted by his friends, by telling a "nasti sex experience" story during a poker game when his turn came up. They discovered his deep dark secret . . . . That he is still a virgin.

From there the buddies try to get him laid. And a lot of best laid plans, went totally bad. This is where most of the humour comes from in the movie, but it isn't the Porkey's & American Pie kind of stuff. This is actually funny because it is funny on it's own.

Much of the laughs are from the fact that most everyone can associate with the awkwardness of 'the first time', and uncomfortable fear of things not going as planned. And with that we can sit watching & knowing how this guys feels in this situation.

I REALLY want to get into the details of the show, but I cannot do that without giving away many spoilers.

But I will say this. If you are a fan of the musical "Hair", you will definitely walk out of the theatre with a smile on your face.

Blessed Be,
Dr. S.

Work, love, ice, & beer. And an apology

Some of you know that I have been conscripted to working performances since the mid 70's. My latest venture is a fledgling group that is still in the first season, and it will take some time but, it actually may get out of the little nest in the attic of a barn. And may be able to live on its own.

That aside, we closed our show tonight & packed all of the props & crap that we had. Put most of the art pieces back in place. After stuffing 47 chairs back into storage, me pulling the cables for my lights & speakers, and what not, I got asked to go & "have a drink" across the street.

"WTF? You got some balls to ask me that right now" Was my 1st thought, then I came out out of my *show mode*, got my shit packed in the car, grabbed a smoke, considered going to my job on the other end of town and then said to myself .

What the Fuck. Time to play nice.

Even though I originally thought the script {Bevis voice: Sucked more than anything has ever sucked before}, and many people that I showed the original script to concurred.

However now the show is done & gone, I now can say this:

I knew something was there. Otherwise my ass would have been glowing hotter than the shuttle on re-entry from how fast I would have been running away from the project.

I must apologize to Terri & Duncan. I was playing devils advocate just to piss you off & push you and the minions that you had to deal with into getting the shit straight and spot on,

just to prove me wrong.

And It Worked.

Blessed Be ,
and don't crack your marble. ;-}>
Dr. S.

And goodnight to you too, Mr. Jennings

I meant to post this several days ago when I found out. But I have been having several problems with my laptop, internet, and several other things.

Peter Jennings did a hell of a lot more than just sit behind a desk reading off of a sheet of paper or teleprompter.
. He died this past weekend from lung cancer.

He started the first news "base" in the middle east. And later on still was on the frontline of anything major going on around the world. And I know that there are many, many things that if I knew, would amaze everyone. And blow my space on blogger out of the water.

In my life, have met Tom Brokaw, Walter Cronkite, Dan Rather, Bill Paley, and so many people from the media due to the political "hell raising" my father used to, {and still does, but less conspicuous}, raise. But when I met Peter Jennings, I can not understand how ANYONE would be able to not feel like they are talking to someone that is a trusted friend, & be comfy with, in an interview.

From this I am trying {SERIOUSLY}, to cut down & hopefully quit smoking.

Blessed Be all, J.B.

"Every time you masturbate....God kills a kitten."

WOW! These guys , umm. . . Wait:

.They ARE from Cali.
..They are both priests.
...special order Krispy Kreme's from Washington
....Obviously do not like pussies,
......but love socks on their hands,
.......and enjoy video'ing puppets & dwarves {sorry "little people"}


BUT DO NOT THINK ABOUT TOUCHING YOUR 'PRIVATE PLACE' or god will smite you down & have a pack of cutting hares nibble @ your naughti bits.

<{-CLICK BELOW-}>
Wired News: XXXchurch Wants No More XXX

I don't know. It seems to these morons that, it is ok to kill small housepets, make fun of those that are not of normal stature, it is fine to show a sock puppet taking a load. "lets call him bunkey!".

But do not ever touch yourself "down there" not even when you go to make #1. AND NEVER TOUCH DOWN THERE WHEN DOING #2!!

For that is just heathen like & will not be toilet-rated.

Blessed Be all. I now have to go renounce my ordination;
Dr. Strangelove

P.S. I just hope that "Rick" at Krispy Kreme is not in charge of the pastry filling machine.

Rigging, and how to not strap yourself down

OK. I will admit I have been a total asshole to everyone around me for the last five or six days.

I have had a buttload of things come down on me in a very short period of time.

I do not know where to begin. But I will try.

Today is the deadline for applications for getting certified in rigging. Not the kind of bullshit "I took a seminar & got a piece of paper saying I know what I am doing".
THIS IS ACTUAL CERTIFICATION RECOGNIZED BY EVERYONE IN THE WHOLE FUCKING WORLD!

For those that do not know what I speak of. . . If you go to a concert, major art event, or anything involving 12 ton to 12 oz. Hanging above, it needs to be hung by someone that knows what the hell needs to be done in order to not cause harm to either staff or audience.

I took training from one of the top of the field, Bill Sapsis, 2 years ago. I have studied rigging, I have done rigging, I have corrected people on how they have rigged things. I admit, I am a pain in the ass about the safety of some of the things that I see. The people in Cali. thought I was joking about needing fall arrest safety harnesses, and a spotter on the ground, when they said I had to "dust the ceiling above the snack bar".

NOTE: In order to do this, I had to be 25+ feet in the air, and between 15' & 36' off center from the lift base and be able to drive the thing without seeing what I might run into. Yeah, I didn't need a spotter!

Anyway, last Thursday I found out that I might not qualify for even being considered for taking the tests to get certified as a rigger.


That pissed me off.

Then I get a royal ass chewing from:

• Not One
• Not Two
• Not even in the single digits

All weekend long about one thing or another.

I am a heartless cad. Uncaring S.O.B. No direction in my life. Bunny Killer.

Well, as of yesterday, {Mon. 8/1/05}, it is official that I am not even close to getting even NEAR to any of the rigging cert. tests.

It is amazing that I can lose one of my best friends, possibly lose my job, might lose my home, my hair, & my mother, {reverse that order please}.

And I get pissy with everyone in my life,

because of a fucking test.

If I have not done so already, I sincerely apologize to all.

Blessed Be, Dr. S.

ten reasons why I stopped dating

1. Ten years ago the woman I had been living with left me for "Minn. highschool all star" football player. Then weeks later broke into my apartment with her sister to "get her things". They trashed the place, grabbed all of the table lights {read no light in the living room or hallway}, misc. other things. BUT LEFT THREE BOXES OF CLOTHING AND HER MICROWAVE!
2. I was followed home one night & got asked to breakfast. After that we went back to my place & I found out she was not an ex girlfriend of a local biker gang {i use that term loosely}, she was a former "possession"
3. During high school & into college I was dumped 18 times in a row with the exact same word for word phrase. {I will not publish this here as to not give some evil female any ammo}.
4. I got hit on at the bar by some drunk ex heroin addict/lot lizard, wanting to "shoot some pool". After several 'friends' took up a collection for me to pay for pool. She ditched me when we actually went to shoot pool @ the pocket.
5. What happened to me 12/23/03
6. Meeting a woman that seemed really cool, easy to talk to, mutual interests, & damn fine looking. She broke it off because she worked with my mom & was 3 months older than my mom. {It was a fun time though, and if my mom ever found out, she would probably have a heart attack, and this person would have been fired & brought up on charges}
7. Working with a woman that was quite a flirt & following on to "other things". Only to find out that she is married to a guy that I know & work with at my other job.
8. Fear. Pure absolute, bone wretching, disease laden fear. That & shotgun toting pissed off husbands, boyfriends or lesbians.
   
9. I got hit on at an advanced training class & asked out for coffee. I said I do not drink coffee, and said person tracked down where my other job was & showed up. I thought I was being stalked, then later I didn't. Now I think I was getting setup from the beginning.
10. What happened this past weekend.

Blessed Be All. Keep your fluids pure, and avoid any & all dubious women.

They will do nothing more than ruin your life & your health

Dr. S.

Great Balls o' Fire (aka The Great Pumpkin)

I was in a conversation tonight with the great & all powerfull LED about mom's when I brought up this site I thought I had posted about a while back. He asked about why he did not see it.
& I guess between having to deal with being very ill, really strange shit @ work, a severely screwed up friend, & making plans on how to take care of a family member after major surgery, without losing my mind, or my home. . . .

I spaced it off. So here it is.

Great Balls o' Glowing Implants 4 You

Remember this the next time you go clubbing.

Don't forget your Maglite


Blessed Be,
Dr. Strangelight, errr Strangelove

Do you have what it takes to be a "ROCK STAR"?

If so, take the test. I did & I fit the bill of rock royalty with how I scored. It's fun, it's entertaining, & it's about 12 minutes of life unrecoverable.

I WANT THIS AS A POSTER!

I found this while looking for "pin-up girl" style artwork. I think it pretty much sums up how I & 99.9999999% of the people in amerika feel about 'dubya.

There is no freedom in having to wake up @ 3:47 in the morning hearing a swat team scream "get the fuck on the floor now you son of a bitch!", only to realize that the people next door were mistaken for terroristic drug running crack heads by one of my other, {better than the CIA on knowing what you do daily, so she thought}, neighbors.

So right now, with the extension of the {non}patriot act, the {vice grips on genitalia} attempt by bush to swing the congress to approving someone onto the supreme court with a track record only exceeded by Dr. Mengela for stupid attitudes towards humanity.

And my generally fowl mood as of late.

I present to the world this wonderful piece of art that I know represents the thoughts of all that stand true and have fought for what America is supposed to be: WE ARE HEAR & WE WILL NOT GO QUIETLY INTO THE NIGHT!

And it also tells the little dipshits that try to scare us by intimidation, and grind us into submission by threat & "possible acts of . . . "

GO FUCK YOURSELVES!

You screwed up pissants may not die today, maybe not in the next week, but unless that weapon has unlimited power and you somehow have figured out how to become invincible.

you
will
die!

And it only will be hastened more by your fucking with the USA.

Thus end the rant.

Blessed Be, Dr. S.

Sorry "rant on" again

P.S. I hope that we can get our children, siblings, wives, & fathers back home where they belong as soon as possible. It is tremendously silly to have so many die & get injured for such a stupid reason that amounts to nothing more than oil.

P.P.S. I think Osama Bin Laden has migrated to the southwest corner of North Dakota. So all of you "security experts" should quickly form a task team to decide on who should lead a forum to pick members of an inquiry, to create a feasibility study on the environmental impact of investigating the viability of "going outside the box" based on the military study of what shall soon be made known at a debriefing of the second set {or mind-pod as you will}, that is several months old & thus extremely pre-dating any & all information that you will read & hear in the next few days. In other words:

HOW FUCKING HARD IS IT TO FIND A SIX FOOT PLUS ARAB THAT NEEDS KIDNEY DIALYSIS ON A DAILY BASIS?

DO YOUR FUCKING JOBS AND STOP PLAYING MUMBLY-PEG WITH THE REST OF THE WORLD!!!

{rant off} You really have to admit though, The gal in the drawing has nice legs.

Just when you thought Iowa was a fun place

I found this on another Blog site & just had to share it with others. I think it might explain why so many Iowa-ians drive like they are blinded from glaucoma.
<{Click Below}>
Highest and Lowest Rates of Marijuana Use

Him Name is Hopkin Green Frog- Part II.2

This is odd & funny.
Click the image below & then just keep clicking.
I'll update the image from time to time if you are too lazy.

Blessed Be, Dr. S

Carol King, damn fine I mean DAMN FINE!

I just got done watching CBS Sunday Morning, which for some reason I auto-wake even though I try to tape it.

They just had a spot on Carol King. For being 63 years young. And since she has been writing MAJOR HIT SONGS since she was 19. And now going back out on the road to tour her new show "The Living Room Tour", with a butt load of energy.

I WANNA PARTY WITH THAT GAL!

So what if she is 22 years older than me. I just want to be able to meet someone that I grew up listening to that is still alive & coherent to talk to about the stuff that has happened in life. And what keeps her going.

Do the loco-motion & feel the earth move under your feet,

Dr. S

Peter Sellers, respect 25 years later

OK. I know that some of my postings have been not so good. Some of them downright suck ass. But I have to do this.

Today marks the 25th anniversary of Peter Sellers death of a heart attack. And I lost the bet to a friend of mine between which was his last movie.

I still think, just out of respect, that " Being There" should be listed. It was very classy, made a point in a simple way, just plain fantastic photography, and is one of my top favorite films of all time.

But as it is. The POS movie " The Fiendish Plot of Dr. Fu Manchu", actually was his last film, which looked like a growing boil on a syphilitic groin.

So, as payment of the bet. I have to track down Goo, & pay off a case of . . . .

Think about it . . .


No, not that! You sicko's!




In the respect of the true Doctor Strangelove, and the others in the movie.


The payoff is a case of purified water. {It used to be $50 & a case of Heineken}


Buh, Bye, Keep your fluids pure, and your feet & hands inside the vehicle at all times during the ride.

Dr. Strangelove {wanna be}

Movie Reviews of 2005 #15 - The Devil's Rejects

WELL . . .

PREFACE: Shot very true to the "70's" film style down to the cheap whip-pans, & bad wipe transitions. And the film stock/processing visually, it looked like something shot mid to late 70's. Unfortunately the stylization carried over to the writing of a seventh grade football player struggling for a grade in English lit. class.

AND ON THAT NOTE . . .

I have to start this off by saying that I have not seen House of 1000 Corpses. And after seeing this movie, I might consider doing so. But if it was as poorly writen & directed as Devil's Rejects, I will wait until I find some copy of it lying in the street next to a dumpster & have someone else waste the time & power to play it on the TV.

YES, it is gory
YES, it is creepy
YES, you will see more titties, {and bush, not george}, in this movie than you have seen in the last year & a half on the 'big screen'
YES, if you are a fan of the "f-word", you will lose count almost immediately once the dialog starts.

NO, it is not a scary movie
NO, anyone under 27 should not be allowed - {seriously this should have been NC-17}
NO, this is not a date movie
NO, {voice of Mr. Horse from Ren & Stimpy}:
.
.
"Nope, Don't like it, Don't like it at all"
However I did actually like parts of it. There were a few scenes that were memorable, {at least for an hour after the movie}. And a ton of unexpected gore, blood, & new / improved ways of killing people.

But the only thing that sticks in my head is the opening scene in the woods. In order to not spoil it for those who get free passes. {trust me, wait until pay per view, & have someone else order it}, All I can say is:

I hope that they cleared that whole area of branches, sticks, & small twigs.

Blessed Be,
The Reverend Dr. S.

Headlines from the world

And they say that the printed press is boring:

Jokebook:Real life humour:Newspapers - Wikibooks

Mobile home madness: Prices top $1 million

I can't believe this. But then again, it is California.


Mobile home madness: Prices top $1 million

Happy Birthday Grandma!

I just wanted to wish my grandma Eileen Barnes a happy birthday. I found this photo that I took of her about {hrumphh ehh} years ago & thought I would tag it onto the blog.

For years she attempted to find a way of sending me chocolate chip cookies so that they would not get damaged in shipping. It didn't matter to me that much. The crumbs made for excellent ice cream topping. To this day I think she still carries an extra pack of Dentyne in her purse.

She is a women of unknown strength & knowledge. How she could manage to put up with our whole extended family through out the years, and still keep her head up is beyond me.

Once again:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRANDMA !

Love,
Jon

Hello Again everyone!! Good bye my favorite dog.

I just want to start off:

I FU<{ING HATE QWEST & AT&T !

That said . . .
I have not been able to update the site since I have not had a landline for the last 2.5-3 weeks. It started from my not wanting to pay the bill, I got it disconnected thinking I would be able to access the 'net from other places by leaching off a Wi-Fi restaurant while I went to & from work.
WELL all good intentions were shot down by my laptop battery going totally flatline, so I could not access from my car. The few times I have been able to pull a line anywhere I had other more pressing matters to deal with such as clearing out the over two-hundred emails in my several inboxes & trying to reply to the less than 15 messages that actually were legit.
So right now I am dealing with finding out my favorite "pet nephew" might be getting put to sleep tomorrow {Friday}. He is a big old Chocolate Lab named Bear.
When I first met him I was told that he would attack me if he saw me wearing a hat. Some of you know me & know that is a rare occasion to see from me. When I walked into the house the dog came after me & I just got on the floor & let him sniff me. His 2 then guardians about fainted when they saw the dog & I getting along so well & so fast. Supposedly he was mistreated &amp;amp;amp; all that, & did not like men at all. I proved that wrong. And have been one of very few people that were able to dog play & dog sit without him raising hell & being an absolute shit to.
I am trying to find a way to tell my good friend Steve the news. He also spent a lot of time with Bear as his caretaker, and more, and he should know what is happening.

So a note for any of you in "the willys group", I just ask:

PLEASE, LET ME BE THE ONE TO TELL HIM !!! Don't spill the beans by offering condolences, or anything unless he or I bring it up in conversation @ the bar. I know he had a strong tie to Bear, and stronger with Bear's current owner. Some of you know the story and understand what I am getting at so I would deeply appreciate cooperation on this.

On a lighter note. This sort of relates to my last post. I think I found Hopkin Green Frog. He has been kidnapped by scientists & turned into a robot.

<{ CLINK HERE }> Warning. This is REALLY odd

Blessed Be.
Dr. Strangelove

Reading in Fun-Demental, well 90% mental

The Gauntlet had been thrown to the dusty ground less than an hour ago. And I will take up the challenge.

Led has put out a quest of curiosity & such to the fact of since we are all computer geeks.

What the hell do we read of substance?

I will start digging & counting to answer the following questions:

1. Total number of books I own:
2. The last book I bought:
   
3. The last book I read:
4. Five books that mean a lot to me (in no particular order):

As long as crates can be concidered "cellular bookshelves", I should be ok.
Sidero, Jet Jr, Edgar and ds Have also been challenged. So this could be fun! Maybe ?

Blessed Be, Dr. S.

BUSH = WHY THE USA IS LAUGHED AT BY THE WORLD

I'm watching the press conference this morning with the {pseudo}leader of our nation.

With a leader of one of the most powerful nations in the world:

• You would expect less than 10-43 "ahh, umm, err, a-a-a," and various other pauses & stutters, per minute, indicating that he does not have a clue of what the hell he going to say next.
• You would expect this person to not contradict themselves not once, twice, but three times in answering just one question
• While reading names of the reporters off of an index card, be able to not fluff {mispronounce} three name in a row.
• He would realize that Iran is not North Korea, and the two countries are not interchangeable
• North Korea is not a person. {he referred to the whole country as 'him'}
• Does not understand the difference of disposal & experimentation of stem-cells. Thinking it is more ethical to throw them away than to utilize them for research of curing fatal diseases.
• Does not giggle to himself during the press conference after making a statement that obviously only he got the joke. {possibly too many mimosa's at breakfast?}
  
• The Dali Llama, Catholic Church, & the evangelical in China DOES NOT equate to religious freedom, thus begetting social freedom, then peace. Introducing three religious factions into a country that has a religious base that is more than DOUBLE of all three combined is just asking for bloodshed.
• Said leader should not "hop real soon" when closing moments arrive in the press conference.
• After stating that "both parties should work together", he should not state "I BELONG TO THE PARTY THAT IS LEADING . . .".
  
• He really should not be allowed to speak without a prompter, handler, or in ear monitor to feed him what he needs to say.

I honestly cannot believe this is who was selected to lead our country. {I voted for anyone but him}. This press conference was more than just embarrassing to me. This is what everyone else in the world will see on the local news & they are going to go.

"What a schmuck!"

Blessed Be, And I'll watchout for the white vans with lots of antennae
Dr. Strangelove